Post-Reading

At first I thought that I wouldn’t like this book, and it was too heavy to read. The language was very hard to understand, as there were many literary devices used, and it made it seem like this book would go on forever and never finish. The subject of the book was very interesting though and it drew me in as I continued to read. I kept on reading the book and I realized that I wasn’t dropping it from my hand. Despite the very confusing and hard language to understand, I really enjoyed The Great Gatsby, and solving the mystery that surrounded him.

Being Daisy: Chapter 9

Tom and I left our beautiful house early that afternoon at East Egg, Long Island behind; and we drove at full speed at a highway, without looking back. It was a beautiful Georgian colonial mansion, and had the most beautiful view. We moved a lot, but East Egg was the only place that brought us this much sorrow.

Pammy was sleeping on the back seat while Tom drove in silence. We didn’t say a word to each other; all of it was said and done already. I watched the road signs that flew by. Suddenly I remembered that dreadful night, not so long ago; though it seemed like years past. The terror of that night came back into my eyes, and I heard the painful scream again. I froze in shock and realized that I wasn’t breathing. I gasped for air.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Tom asked breaking the silence; he looked concerned. I nodded, he turned his head back to the road and the silence came back again. I was going to a happier place, I thought. We would have a new life there; start all over again, without Nick, Jordan or anyone.

I couldn’t say or hear his name. Even the name itself brought so much pain and sorrow into me. I wish things didn’t end this way, but they did. I never turned my head and looked back the minute we left the house, but a voice inside me told me that I should, and so I did.

There stood a beautiful mansion on the right; it was so beautiful, that it was painful to look at. Right across it was another mansion on the left. The color, the sounds of music and laughter were now gone and didn’t leave any traces on the grey building.

I turned my head forward again and decided to look at the future, and let go of the past and the events that happened in both of the mansions. One can’t live in the past, I thought, it will kill one if you don’t let go of it.

We reached a hotel that we would spend the night; Tom was pretty exhausted from driving. He called home to check everything was ok, and his face changed suddenly. I asked Tom what happened, curiosity pouring from my voice. ‘’He got killed.’’ he said. ‘’Jay Gatsby died.’’

His words sank in one by one, each one having a larger effect than the other. Time suddenly stood still. I tried so hard not to cry in front of Tom. My body froze with the shock of the news. I wanted to move, wanted to cry so hard until I lost my voice, but I couldn’t. I looked at Tom, who looked out the window with a blank expression on his face. I realized I wasn’t breathing and gasped for air; at that moment I started shaking with sobs.

I ran to the bathroom and locked the door with the last strength I had. I sat down hugging the carpet and crying. I remembered the time I cried hugging Jay’s shirts on the floor, and how he picked me up. I waited for him to come pick me off the floor again, but no one came.

He was out of my life forever, I wanted him to be, and now he was. I thought so much about calling him the day after that night, but something stopped me from reaching to that phone. It was Tom, and the life we had together. I didn’t want to throw my family away, and I never called Jay. That day he died, so I heard when I came back into the room when I regained a little self-control. I thought about calling his house and talking to Nick, but I ended up never calling.

I couldn’t possibly go to the funeral. I couldn’t bear to see him buried deep underground. The past is the past, I thought. You have to let go of your dreams some time. I placed my head in Tom’s lap as he stroked my hair. I thought about the first time Jay kissed me, and drifted into a heavy sleep, hoping not to wake up ever again.

Being Daisy: Chapter 8

Tom and I went upstairs to go to bed. It had been a tiring afternoon for both us, and we entered our bedroom without looking at each other. Tom crawled into the bed and slept without saying good night. I turned and walked towards the window, and looked out in the garden, my eyes searching for the silhouette of a man that I loved. He was standing in the middle of our garden. Even though I couldn’t see his eyes, I still felt his gaze locked to mine. There was nothing left to say, we both knew that I would close the light and go back to the bed that I shared with my husband. A single tear fell down from my eye as I turned the lights off and went to bed next to Tom; the bed was now cold with the things that happened that afternoon. That was the last time I saw Jay.

I lay awake wondering what it would be if I ran away now. I would go to Jay and he would hold me in his arms, and we would run away together, disappearing into the night. I thought about leaving, with Jay by my side. How nice and warm it would be. I thought about getting lost in that world that was only known by us. But we both knew that this was out of the question now. I chose to go back to bed with Tom, leaving Gatsby in the dark garden, alone and abandoned.

How could I leave Tom and my family? I had a three-year-old daughter; I didn’t want my daughter to be motherless. I loved Jay; I knew that with all my heart. But I had a life now. I am not the young girl that went from date to date with orchids in her hand five years ago. I changed. I had a beautiful family, and a husband that loved me. Tom might go and do foolish things sometimes, but he never left me all alone, he always came back to me; and he was back now.

And this was the reason why I couldn’t live my dream, why I couldn’t go with the man that I loved and waited for all that time. I wish it was five years ago now, and I wish that he returned to America on time. But wishes never do come true. I am thankful for the family that I have now.

I turned to my side. Tom was lying right next to me, his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping though; I could feel that he was wide-awake and thinking about everything that happened that night. I watched his sleepless body that didn’t move an inch. I realized that I loved Tom, and that we belonged together. I thought about telling him the accident that happened that night, how I killed a woman with Gatsby’s car, but something stopped me from dragging Tom out of his thoughts. I couldn’t tell him that I was a murderer. I looked at him again and watched him as we both dazed into a heavy sleep.

Being Daisy: Chapter 7

Days seemed to go by faster now. Life was suddenly easier, and happier. I didn’t mind Tom and his mistress anymore. Everything seemed so easy; life seemed so easy. I felt like I could do anything; conquer the world. With Jay on my side, I actually could. He made everything easier. He colored my black and white world; he gave me life again. Everything now seemed right.

I started to see him more often. I would go by his house in the afternoons. Seeing him was the best part of my day, the best part of my life. Nothing could go wrong when I was with him. He made me feel safe, he made me feel loved, and he made me feel like I mattered for the first time. It was so strange; I didn’t feel like this before. Just the way he looked at me was enough to make me forget the reality, and we drifted deep into our own world again. Now, I started going to that world every afternoon.

I invited Jay to lunch one day, and I told him to invite Nick too. He called me saying that Nick would be here tomorrow, and I suddenly was relieved. I couldn’t cope with Tom and Jay all alone, I needed someone to be there, and Nick was the perfect man for the job. I phoned Nick after talking with Jay, and told him how glad I was that he was coming.

The next day was a broiling, and certainly the hottest summer day. When Jay and Nick arrived, Jordan and I couldn’t even get up to greet them, we just lay down on the couch, not able to move. Tom didn’t greet them as well. Just when the door opened, the metallic shrill of the phone disturbed my peace once again. That woman without decency kept calling my house more often. I looked into Jay’s eyes, and calmed down.

‘’The rumor is, that that’s Tom’s girl on the telephone’’ whispered Jordan. I wasn’t a rumor it was the truth I thought. Tom’s voice rose in annoyance in the hall. He was screaming something about a car. ‘’Holding down the receiver’’ I said, I knew that it was that woman calling, he didn’t have to go around pretending that it wasn’t her. Nick’s answer surprised me though, he told me that it was a bona-fide deal, and he knew about it. I believed Nick; he would have kept quite if it really was that woman. If Nick knew about it, then it was true.

Tom came back, looking rather upset. I told him to go make drinks for us, to buy us more time. As soon as he left the room, I found the strength to get up slowly. I went over to Jay and pulled his face down to kiss him. Suddenly everything seemed alive again. The real world disappeared around us as we kissed, but reappeared as our lips slowly parted. ‘’You know I love you.’’ I muttered.

Just then as we were talking my sweet daughter came into the room. ‘’Blessed precious, come to your own mother that loves you.’’ I called to her. She was beautiful, all dressed up, her blond curly hair straight. My sweet little girl then met Nick and Jay. Jay kept looking at her in amazement, like he never believed in her existence before. As my daughter and her nurse walked away, Tom walked towards us with four drinks in his hands.

We had lunch in the dining room, after the boys came back from outside. We were just talking about what we should do, and I had the sudden urge to go into town. ‘’Who wants to go to town?’’ I cried with joy. Jay’s eyes floated towards me, he looked so cool. Our eyes met again; our gazes locked. Tom and the others disappeared around the table as we stared at each other alone in space. I made an effort to look down on the table. ‘’You always look so cool’’ I muttered.

Then I told him that I loved him, and Tom saw. I knew he saw, and I knew that he heard it. He was astounded. His mouth opened a little, and his gaze shifted between Jay and me. I didn’t want him to find out this way. I felt so sorry, I regretted saying those words. I couldn’t hold myself, the words just spilled out of my mouth, and I had no control over it.

‘’You resemble the advertisement of a man.’’ I continued innocently, trying to pick myself up and just cool the environment; trying to make Tom forget what he just witnessed. Tom suddenly jumped up and said that he was willing to go to town. He rushed us outside, and it was too hot to fuss.

‘Well, you take my coupe and let me drive your car to town’’ suggested Tom to Jay; distaste appeared in his face. He kindly told him that there wasn’t enough gas, but Tom objected and said that he would buy some from the drugstore; you could buy anything from a drugstore these days. A pause followed this unnecessary remark. I looked Tom frowning, and an unfamiliar expression came to Jay’s face.

Tom the pulled me towards Gatsby’s car, but I stood where I was like a hard rock that stood it’s ground, I refused to move. ‘’You take Nick and Jordan. We’ll follow you in the coupe’’ I said. I knew what I was doing, and I was aware of the risks. I didn’t care anymore; I never wanted to leave Jay’s side. I walked close to him touching his coat. The other three got in the car and shot off into the heat, leaving us out of sight.

‘’I’m scared’’ I suddenly blurted out, hugging Jay. He hugged me back, trying to comfort me. ‘’I know,’’ he said ‘’No one told you that it was going to be easy.’’ But it felt so easy when I was with Jay. I didn’t imagine it would be this hard. We stood there in the middle of the desert heat, hugging each other. I never wanted to let him go, I already did that mistake once. He slowly backed and kissed me one more time before we got into the car, and drove away.

Our ride was silent. Words weren’t enough to communicate our feelings now. We had a way of communicating without speaking now. There was nothing more to say, or nothing more to do. I thought about the idea of leaving Tom. The heaviness of the idea came crashing down on me. I felt like I couldn’t breath. It seemed so easy before, but now I wasn’t sure that I could do it. I looked at Jay who was driving.

We passed an old looking garage where Jay’s car was parked on the side. I told Jay to pull right and wait for them, and we did. He held my hand, and we locked gazes again. Just as he was leaning in, a bright yellow car stopped behind us. Jordan screamed that she wanted to go to the movies. ‘’It’s so hot.’’ I complained ‘’You go. We’ll ride around and meet you after.’’ I hoped that they would agree. I wanted to spend more time alone with Jay. But of course they didn’t.

We then pulled over to the Plaza Hotel and rented a room to talk. The suite was so hot as well. Tom started making personal remarks to Jay, and I didn’t like it one bit. I told him that I wasn’t going to take his attitude, and I wouldn’t stay there a minute if he continued. He stopped and I looked at Jay apologetically. The light in his eyes drew a smile to my face, and I suddenly felt that I was brightening the room like the sun brightened the day. I controlled myself and wiped it from my face.

Tom then questioned Jay about going to Oxford. I told him to open the whiskey, maybe then he wouldn’t seem so stupid to himself. He stood firm on the ground and told me there was just one more thing he wanted to ask Mr. Gatsby. ‘’What kind of a row are you trying to cause in my house anyhow?’’ asked Tom with sternness and determination in his voice.

I froze and realized the mistake I made, the risk I took. Oh how foolish of me, to think that it would be easy. The reality of the situation sunk in to me slowly as I looked across the small suite. They were out in the open, but I didn’t want them to be. Why was I so weak? I couldn’t even shut myself up and let my mouth blurt out things that I didn’t mean to say. ‘’He isn’t causing a row,’’ I said looking desperately between Jay and Tom. ‘’You’re causing a row. Please have a little self control.’’ I begged. That was enough to throw Tom off the roof.

‘’I’ve got something to tell you, old sport – ‘’ Jay began. I had to do something, this was going out of hand; actually it already went out of hand, but I still had to stop Jay from saying those words that I now didn’t believe in. ‘’Please, don’t!’’ I interrupted helplessly. ‘’Please let’s all go home. Why don’t we go home?’’ My desperate efforts weren’t enough, and I failed. Nick got up trying to help me, but he also failed as well. Tom and Jay drifted into their own world now, not caring if we were there or not. ‘’Your wife doesn’t love you,’’ said Jay ‘’She’s never loved you. She loves me.’’

There, he said it. The words that terrified me; the words that I was too scared to say blurted their way out of his mouth. The main reason I couldn’t say these words out loud, even to myself wasn’t the fact that they scared me. It was because they weren’t true.

Tom said some things that just seemed like a whisper far away. ‘’You’re revolting.’’ I suddenly found myself saying. ‘’Do you know the real reason why we left Chicago?’’ Jay suddenly came next to me, and told me that was all over now; he so sweetly tried to comfort me. ‘’Just tell him the truth – that you never loved him – and it’s all wiped out forever.’’ he said.

I hesitated. I looked at Jordan and Nick. It suddenly dawned on me. I wanted to throw myself out of the window, scream and sob until my I lost my voice. Storms were raging inside me, but I showed no sign of it. ‘’I never loved him.’’ I said.

The words fell out of my mouth, and that moment I wish they never did. I heard Tom saying things in a distance, but I didn’t listen to what he was saying. ‘’Daisy?’’ he said, with a husky tenderness and love in his tone. ‘’Please don’t’’ I begged, and turned to Jay with tears in my eyes. I didn’t believe in the things I was saying. I was standing there lying to my husband, the man I once loved. ‘’There Jay’’ I said.

The storms that were raging inside me decided to come out and show themselves at that moment. ‘’Oh you want too much.’’ I cried to Jay. ‘’I love you now – isn’t that enough? I can’t help what’s past’’ I began to sob. ‘’I did love him once - but I love you too.’’ They went on arguing, leaving me sobbing on the floor. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Tom then said that Jay sold grain alcohol over the drugstores, and that is how he became rich. I couldn’t believe the words I heard. He lied to me. The man I trusted with my life, the man I planned to run away with, the man I planned a new life with lied to me. I stared at my husband and Jay in a terrified way. Jay turned to me and denied everything, the false accusations that had been made about him.

‘’Please Tom! I can’t stand this anymore’’ I said. Whatever intentions and courage I had, were now gone from my eyes. I realized that I didn’t know what I was thinking when I invited Jay for dinner. I didn’t know the dangers of telling Tom this way, until now. Tom said that I should go with Jay. I looked at him, alarmed, but he was sure, he looked sure of his decision. And without a word, we were gone.

I was very nervous when we left the hotel, and I thought that driving would calm me down. And again, I was wrong. We were going down the road, and there was another car coming in the other direction. A woman suddenly rushed out of nowhere. I panicked, didn’t know what to do. I first turned away from her towards the other car, but then I don’t know what came over me. I suddenly lost my nerve and turned back. We both felt the shock on the wheel. Jay tried to make me stop, but I wouldn’t. It was like I turned into a rock, I couldn’t move. He pulled the emergency brake, and I flopped onto his lap. He drove from there on.

I locked myself in my room for a while. I tried to breath, but I couldn’t. I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. It didn’t help. If Tom did anything to me, I was going to turn the light on and off so Jay would come and get me. The lights in my room were on now, and I lay on the bathroom floor with my eyes red and swollen. I felt like a corpse, a walking dead. I dragged my body out of the bathroom into the house.

Tom and I sat down at the kitchen table, across each other. He was talking intently, but I didn’t hear anything he said from the echoing and ringing scream of the woman in my ear, just like the metallic shrill of the phone that also rang in my ear that night in June. I raised my head once a while and nodded in agreement. His hand covered mine as we sat down looking at the full plates in front of us.

Being Daisy: Chapter 6

Tom came home late that day from a dinner at Sloane’s. I answered the door that woke me up from my nap. He entered, grabbed me from my waist and kissed me passionately. ‘’You look beautiful’’ he said. I kissed him back, but with less passion. I didn’t feel it anymore, but I kissed him back so that he wouldn’t notice. There was something weird, something bitter about that kiss; I never figured out what it was.

He dragged me upstairs, not letting go of my hand. I suddenly remembered Jay’s touch, and how differently he held my hand. Lighter and warmer… We went to our bedroom and he suddenly turned to me and said ‘’How do you know Gatsby?’’ I panicked. The name, and it’s meaning came crashing down on me. I couldn’t speak, words that came to my mind didn’t come out of my mouth; I was overwhelmed with shock.

‘’You remember the day I went to Nick’s for tea? He stopped by that day; Nick introduced us. He is Nick’s neighbour.’’ I said, my voice trembling. ‘’I know.’’ Tom said, with a cool voice. ‘’Why do you ask?’’ I said, words barely making it out of my mouth that was now frozen. ‘’We stopped at his house for drinks today,’’ he explained ‘’He told me that he knew you. But the way he said it was… strange. Anyway, we are going to his party on Saturday.’’ He gave me a kiss good night and turned around to sleep, like nothing happened.

I lay awake in bed for a little more; my mind trying to grasp what just happened. I was glad that we were going to that party that we heard so much about; but a part of me was worried and didn’t want to go. I wanted to see Jay, more than anything. But a part of me worried, since Tom would also be there, and probably watching us the way a hawk watches it’s pray, following our every move.

Saturday came more quickly than I expected, and I found myself at Jay’s house with Tom by my side. He greeted us, giving me a look that only I could understand. We went inside and he showed us a beautiful woman under the plum tree, said that she was a movie star; she looked lovely.

We went to our table, and Jay asked me to dance. We got up to the dance floor, and danced for a few minutes; which seemed to pass by so quickly. We locked gazes and never looked at anyone or anything around us. It was just Jay and I. And there we drifted to our own world again. When our dance ended, we went to Nick’s place to speak. Nick was our watchman in case there was a fire, a flood, or any act of God.

Nick’s place was the only place that we could be alone. He kissed me passionately, and I kissed him back, with the same passion. ‘’Tell Tom,’’ he said ‘’Tell him that you don’t love him anymore.’’ He kissed me again. He then pulled away, and waited for my answer. ‘’You don’t love him anymore, right?’’ he said, with doubt in his voice. ‘’I never loved him.’’ I answered. ‘’So tell him, and you can be free. Then we will go back to Louisville and get married – just as if it were five years ago.’’ He spoke with such joy and happiness.

I realized there; he changed when I was around. He started glowing whenever he caught a glimpse of me, and I wasn’t the only one who could see this. I knew Nick could realize it too. I changed him, made him glow, just like he made me glow. Whenever I even heard his name, it would make me smile, my heart would start beating faster. I knew this was love. ‘’I need more time. I have a daughter, a family. Tom hasn’t been a good husband, but he is a good father; and I can’t do this to my daughter. When you have a family, you have to think of it before yourself. They come before me and my needs.’’ I spoke with certainty in my voice that even I didn’t believe. He smiled to my surprise. ‘’I waited for you for five years, and I finally found you. I’m not going to let go this time. I think I can wait a little longer.’’ He spoke with a smile across his face. We just stood there a little longer, looking into each other’s eyes.

Honestly, I didn’t like the party. West Egg appalled me. I just saw something awful when I looked around, it didn’t amaze me. I pretended to like it, so Jay would be happy. But I was disgusted when that drunk girl came to me and asked me to put her under a cold shower.

We went back to the table, and Jay left to talk to some of his guests. Tom came back not so later than us. He was obsessed with what Jay did for a living. I didn’t mind Tom and his unnecessary questions that much now, it bothered me less as the days passed by.

We left the party early, and went back home. The best part of the party was the minutes I spent with Jay, other than that I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I lay awake on the bed, thinking about Jay and his offer. I was going to tell Tom, I couldn’t keep on lying to him like this. I wasn’t being fair to him, or to myself. I deserved to be happy, and Jay was the one person that could make me happy. Just as I was thinking about these things, I remembered the first time he kissed me.

It was an autumn night, five years ago. Moon was lighting the dark night. Leaves were falling around us. We came to a place where there were no trees, and we stopped, facing each other. It was a cool night, and the lights of the houses went out around us, vanishing into the night one by one. Our hearts beat faster as we came closer. Then he kissed me. A kiss so full of love but hesitant, so light but powerful at the same time. I fell asleep as a smile appeared across my face.

Being Daisy: Chapter 5

I finally received a call from Nick today. I was so happy to hear his voice. He invited me to tea at his own house, and of course I gladly accepted the offer. But he said that I shouldn’t bring Tom, and didn’t answer me when I asked him why. It was particularly strange of him; I didn’t expect him to say something like this.

Finally the day arrived that I would see my cousin. I was ecstatic with joy. I arrived at his place no later than four, and he greeted me at the driveway. We told the driver to drive away and keep himself busy for an hour, and then went inside. It felt so good to be with Nick again, I was nearly jumping up and down with joy. When we went inside, he seemed kind of surprised though, like something that was supposed to be there wasn’t there anymore. His eyes searched around the deserted room.

Just then we heard a small knock on the door. Nick went to answer it. A man as pale as death walked inside. My heart nearly stopped beating, then it started beating again like it would rip out of my chest. I locked eyes with the pale man. He didn’t have to say anything, I knew it was him from the moment he walked in; I could feel it in every bone of my body. After so many years, Jay Gatsby stood right before me.

He didn’t have to say anything, or introduce himself to me. We instantly knew who each other were. I laughed. ‘’I certainly am awfully glad to see you again’’ I said. We stopped talking and just looked at each other. There was so much to talk, so much to say, but no words.

When Nick came into the living room we were sitting down. I was frightened, like a ghost from my past just reappeared, but I was glad. ‘’We’ve met before’’ Jay tried to explain to Nick, but he needed no explanation. I could tell that he was embarrassed and nervous, how could he not be after five years? I was embarrassed too, and nervous of course, but I tried not to show it.

Nick and I started chatting then, and Jay hid himself in a shadow and watched us. His eyes flickered from one of us to the other as we took turns speaking, and he looked at us with tense, unhappy eyes. Nick suddenly got up to leave the room. I was actually glad that he decided to leave us alone. Just at that moment, Jay went with him to speak to him, and I was once again alone.

I wondered what they were speaking, what Jay was telling him. Did he now want to be alone with me? I could understand if he didn’t, after all it would be a bit awkward after all the things that we have been through. Suddenly, I felt the urge to leave. A voice inside me was telling me that this was a bad idea. But I chose to shut that voice up. I wanted to stay, even if it was dangerous, even if it meant that I still had feelings for Jay, that I was still in love with him. And maybe, I was.

Just as I was starting to get restless, Jay came back in and sat down next to me. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. I was still in love with him. We looked at each other, for a few minutes. ‘’Has it really been five years?’’ I asked. Five years now seemed shorter. He nodded, ‘’You changed a lot,’’ he said ‘’it was hard to find you.’’

I couldn’t hold myself anymore; tears came running down my eyes as he told me how he looked for me, how he came to Chicago and how read a Chicago newspaper, hoping to catch a glimpse of me, and in the end he found out that I was living here so he bought the house right across me. He still had feelings for me, after five years. The fact that I also had feelings for him scared me. I couldn’t control myself now; tears were flooding down my face as we talked about the times we shared together.

Just at that moment, Nick came back in. I suddenly jumped up and went to the nearest mirror to fix myself. Jay wanted me to see his house, so we all stood up to go there. I excused myself and went to the bathroom first, to fix myself and gain my self-control back. I had to breath and calm myself down. Being with Jay again brought me gladness and pain at the same time; it hurt being with him, being happy with him. I took one last breath and went outside where Nick and Jay were waiting for me.

His house was breathtaking, and absolutely splendid. We looked at every little thing around the house. I could see that Jay was nervous, and that he was feeling what I am feeling. I looked at him when he was giving a tour of his house, and he never looked away when he was speaking. An unexplained joy filled his eyes as he talked, the man from five years ago was back, and this scared me.

Just as we were looking at his shirts, I couldn’t hold myself. A ghost from my past just reappeared, and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and got scared, and broke down. I started crying intensely, sobs shook me as they left my body. I tried to gain control of myself again, and after a great deal of time I managed.

Jay picked me off the ground and helped me stand up. We decided to go look at the grounds and have a walk in the garden, but then when I stopped, the rain started again. We just stood in front of the window, gazing at the mist that surrounded us. ‘’If it wasn’t for the mist we could see your home across the bay’’ he said. I put my arm through his.

We then started looking around the room; he never told me that he had a pompadour, or a yacht. He then pulled me and showed me the clippings he collected. They were all about me. Tears came back into my eyes, but these were tears of joy and astonishment. I couldn’t believe that he went everywhere, all around the world to find me. Just then the phone rang, and he had to go. I went to the window again, looking at the beautiful pink clouds above the sea.

Jay then decided that we needed some music and called Mr. Klipspringer into the room. A man young man with glasses and blond hair came into the room, wearing a ‘sport shirt’, sneakers and duck trousers. We went down stairs to hear the piano. Jay lit my cigarette and we sat down on a couch far off in the corner, where the lights didn’t reach.

My eyes were glowing now, not with the tears but with joy, just as his eyes were glowing the same way. I still couldn’t believe that I was here five years later, with Jay Gatsby; the only man I truly loved, and still love to this day. We had forgotten that Nick was there, and we drifted in our own world, leaving him behind.

He took hold of my hand and I whispered ‘’I love you’’ in his ear. A rush of emotion took him and he turned towards me, pulling me against him. We locked eyes again. Nick stood up to leave, and I remembered that he was still there. I held my hand out to him, but Jay still didn’t remember Nick and kept his eyes on mine. I pulled myself back a little and we both looked at Nick, so full of life, as he looked back at us. He turned and went down the marble steps, leaving us alone in that room.

Being Daisy: Chapter 4

It was a lonely day. I had the house all to myself again. Jordan went out, said that she had things to do in the city and then she was going to meet Nick for tea. I am happy for them, there is now no need of me to set them up. They look amazing together. I couldn’t be happier for them.

Although I am happy for him, I am upset and annoyed with Nick. He is supposed to be my cousin, but he hasn’t called in weeks. I thought that since we now lived close to each other, we now would be closer as well. How can we be closer, if he doesn’t call? I missed him, oh so much; but he calls Jordan instead. I am not mad at him for calling Jordan, since he is interested in her. All I am saying is that he can also call me once in a while. Maybe, if he called of course, I wouldn’t feel this lonely. Let’s face it, I have a family, but I am the lonely person in a crowd. When I am alone in the house, like today, the house looks so big, and I feel so small.

When Tom came back tonight, he said that he saw Nick in the city at lunch. I want to go to lunch with Nick someday, I need to see him. He might not have missed me, but I sure missed my dear cousin and I intend on seeing him. Tom also said that Nick was at lunch with a man. A man that is a gentleman, from what he saw. Right at that moment, I stopped. My stomach got tied, and I couldn’t speak. He said that nick was having lunch with someone named Gatsby.

Tom asked me what was wrong after he told me the name. I couldn’t tell him, I didn’t have the heart to tell him. I told tom that I was going to take a shower and rushed upstairs.

Gatsby? Could it really be? The Gatsby, My Gatsby from years ago. I waited and waited for him, but he didn’t come. That is why I married Tom. I do not regret marrying Tom, but Gatsby… I haven’t heard that name until six weeks ago, when Jordan mentioned him. Even then, I snuck out to her room and asked her about this man. I wasn’t sure that it was the Gatsby from years ago, like I am still not sure now. But even just the name Gatsby, is enough to send shivers down my spine and make me feel something that is buried deep in my heart. I want to meet this Gatsby fellow. It can’t be him, can it? Everything seems so confusing right now. Questions come and go in my mind. A part of me wishes that it is my Gatsby and that part also wants to see him so much; but the other part of me is numb, I don’t feel anything, and that part knows that it would be dangerous to see Gatsby, even after all these years. But I know, what have I got to loose? It won’t hurt to check this man out. I want to see him. I want to see Gatsby.

Being Daisy: Chapter 3

I woke up to a beautiful morning that day. The sun was shining into my room, Tom, who had arrived late last night was sleeping next to me. I lay down still on the bed. I thought that I was lucky, to have a family. My family might be broken, but I was still lucky; most of the people out there wanted what I had, and the rest were worse off than I was. I am lucky.

Thinking positive things helped me start off to a beautiful day. I stood up, filled with joy and went to take a long shower. After my relaxing shower, I went downstairs to prepare my family a breakfast that they deserved. I was thankful to have a husband, and a beautiful daughter, and this was the least I could do to show them this.

We had a lovely breakfast. I was going to invite Jordan to join us, but she had already left. It was a very peaceful morning; the sun shined bright right above us. After I cleared what was left of breakfast, I came back out to the porch to enjoy the bright day. I looked around, everything was so peaceful and quite here in East Egg; while it was the opposite on West Egg. There were a lot of men meddling around an enormous garden, preparing for something. It looked like an extraordinary party. I just sat there, watching these men. I wondered what they were preparing for; they looked so busy. For a moment, I felt like driving all the way to West Egg to that party.

Around noon Jordan came back, got dressed and went back out saying that she was going to a party. I wondered if she was going to the party in West Egg. If she was, I wanted to go with her; but I couldn’t be sure, and I didn’t have the courage to say. I bet she was going to that party though, it must be one of those legendary big parties that she always attends.

After Jordan left, I took a nice nap. I was having the most pleasant dream when the sound of sweet music woke me up. I hurried outside to look at what it was. It was coming from that gorgeous mansion in West Egg. The men that were meddling around this morning did a great job, I could tell from all the way here. I stood at the door of my porch, watching the party. Laughter and chatter rose from the mansion next to the music. I wanted to be there. People looked like they were having so much fun, I wanted to be a part of the fun.

Tom had to work again, so it looked like I was alone tonight. I could have gone to that party, I wanted to, but something stopped me. I wasn’t sure if it was the same thing that stopped me from leaving Tom, but it was sure similar. I took a jacket and went outside to the garden. The sun was about to set right now; a whole day had gone by so quickly. I walked around the garden watching and listening to the party. It looked so amazing that not just me, but everyone wanted to be there. I heard Vladamir Tostoff’s Jazz History of the World playing, it was one of my favorite Jazz pieces; and looks like it is one of the favorites of the host’s as well, since he requested the song. I wondered who the host was to this party, and I wanted to meet this person who could throw such a great party.

It was getting cold outside, so I went back in, tired from that walk. I fell asleep on the bed, listening the music from the party that now seemed far away.

Being Daisy: Chapter 2

Tom went out early this morning, said he had a job in the city and he won’t be back until the next morning. He is lying, I can tell. He is probably gone to see that woman again. I can’t believe he would do this to me, and right under my nose! That woman is not only calling at dinnertime and disturbing my house and my family, but she is stealing my husband, and the father of my daughter away.

When Tom leaves me like this and goes to see that woman, I sit down by myself on the porch and just look at the gorgeous view. It makes me calm down, clear my mind. I just sit down and think all day; about what I should do, and what I would do if I were to ever meet this woman. I would just tear her down, pull her hair, and just jump on her like a wild animal; that is what I feel like doing. I wonder, though, what this woman really looks like. Is she beautiful? Tall and thin perhaps… Is that why Tom chose her, and is spending time with her rather than being home with his wife and daughter?

This whole thing, Tom having a mistress, gives me nothing but depressed thoughts and stress. I don’t need this in my life, I tell myself, but what other choice do I have? Should I leave Tom? Sometimes, I get so mad at him that I just want to slam the door and never look back. I wish I could do that right now. Just when I always go to get my jacket, reality hits me and stands in my way. I think of our three year old daughter, and our marriage. Tom is really a good husband, he might be cheating on me right now, but he never raised his hand to me; if he wanted to leave me and go with this woman, he had so many chances to do so. A part of him still wants to stay married to me, and that is more than enough.

I cheer myself up bit thinking about the good times, back in Chicago and the year in France. Just when I start to think of all the good things, I hear that sound. The metallic shrill of the phone still rings in my ear from that night. I get furious. I have to stop doing this to myself, stop torturing myself and think about what Tom is doing with that woman right now. I need to clear my head, and keep myself from thinking about those two. I wonder if Jordan is awake, so we can do something today. I better go check on her.

Being Daisy: Chapter 1

I was thrilled to see Nick again. I haven’t seen him since the two short days that rushed by in Chicago, where he spent with us. In the mean time we heard that he was engaged, but I don’t think that he is; he would have let us know if it were true, but I will be sure to ask him. We haven’t spent much time together’ Nick and I, and I wanted to change that. It gave me such joy to hear his car parking at the front door.

Nick was out with Tom, his senior classmate and my husband, when we were sitting with Jordan. I made an attempt to rise when I saw Nick come in to the room. I laughed, being paralyzed with happiness; there was no one in the world that I wanted to see this much, no words came to my mind to express my happiness.

Nick never saw my little girl; oh how much I wanted him to meet her. She’s three years old now, but he has never seen her. I wish that she wasn’t asleep when Nick arrived.

We stood talking at the same spot for a little more time. I introduced Nick to Jordan Baker, a famous and competitive golfer, and I saw the way my dear cousin looked at her. He must have thought that she was beautiful, and she is. I must arrange something between these two. Nick should come over more, after all she is going to spend lots of weekends here this summer, so I can push these two out to the sea in a boat and that sort of things, accidentally of course.

They even have a common friend. Jordan asked him if he knew someone from West Egg. She said Gatsby, I think. Before Nick could answer, dinner was announced.

The dinner went absolutely perfect, just like I imagined; we sat down and had a lovely conversation under the just as lovely sunset. Though saying that it went perfect would be wrong. It ‘’was’’ going perfect, until that woman called. How dare she calls my house, and even interrupts my dinner with my dear cousin, whom we haven’t seen in a very long time. Tom suddenly frowned and left the table, and at that moment I knew it was she who called. I tried to calm the environment by changing the subject, though it was I that I was trying so desperately to calm. I felt ashamed, humiliated at my own house. I couldn’t take it anymore; I went inside. Nick shouldn’t have found out like this; him finding it out this way embarrassed me. I needed some alone time with him.

I told him that he didn’t come to my wedding, we weren’t as close as we should be as cousins when you think. I told him that I was pretty cynical; I might have a dream house, a little daughter, and a perfect husband, but that is just on the outside. I had a bad time so far. I knew Nick understood me, and him desperately changing the subject was his way of saying it and trying to take my mind off it. Everything was so terrible anyhow.

It depressed me, to see him leave. I need to spend more time with my dear, long-lost cousin, and I will from now on.

Chapter 9: Reflection

The last chapter of the book was rather sad, and more depressing than I expected. After Gatsby’s death, there are lines of police, photographers, and newspaperman in front of the massive mansion. Nick finds himself alone on Gatsby’s side. ‘’I’ll get somebody for you, Gatsby. Don’t worry. Just trust me and I’ll get somebody for you – ‘’ says Nick to Gatsby’s lifeless body.

I thought that this scene was the most tragic, and possibly the saddest scene of the book that touched me the most. I always knew that Gatsby was a lonely man in a colorful crowd, but to see that he had no friends at all was just heartbreaking. All of the people he partied with had no care and interest in him at all, and they were just there for the party and not the man. When even Meyer Wolfsheim, Gatsby’s only friend besides Nick refused to come and said that ‘’he never got involved in these things’’ even if the person was his friend.

Nick calls Daisy half an hour after they found him. The butler says that Daisy and Tom went with luggage and didn’t say when they will come back. I at least expected Daisy to show up for the funeral but she didn’t as well.

I was really surprised that Gatsby’s father showed up. I didn’t expect him to show up, or even learn that their son was dead, since Gatsby obviously denied them. Turns out he didn’t though, he sent his father a picture of the house two years ago, and has been very generous to him. When Henry Gatz arrived at the mansion and got a look around, his pride in his son increased. I thought that this was a touching scene as well.

When only his father, Nick, and the Lutheran Minister arrived for his funeral, I was sad again. Gatsby was a very popular man, but he had no one that cared about him. When the man with the owl-eyed glasses showed up, I was surprised and wanted to know who this man was, but we never learned.

After Gatsby’s death, Nick feels like the East is hunted and decides to move back. He goes over to talk to Jordan before leaving, but she is engaged to another man. I felt sorry for Nick who lost his best friend, and his girlfriend in less than 2 days. Jordan was heartless to Nick and I thought that her tone was unnecessarily harsh.

When Nick saw Tom towards the end of the chapter, I was as furious as Nick was. He was the one that told Wilson it was Gatsby who drove the car, if it weren’t for him, Gatsby would still be alive right now. When Tom said that he got what he deserved when he didn’t stop the car and treated Myrtle like she was some dog. This wasn’t true, of course. It was Daisy that was behind the wheel, and Tom still didn’t know about it. If I were Daisy, I would kill myself from guilt.

I really liked the last paragraph of the book, and how Fitzgerald finished it in a touching way; talking about a man who chased his dream, and reached out to it when he didn’t realize that the dream was already behind him.

‘’And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night. ‘’

Chapter 8: Reflection

Chapter 8 was probably the most tragic chapter in the book. I didn’t expect Gatsby to die, and I thought that Daisy would have called, and they would live happily.

The night of the accident (Myrtle’s death), Nick can’t sleep and is ‘’tossed half sick between grotesque reality and savage, frightening dreams. He hears Gatsby’s cab pull over and rushed to his house. They search for cigarettes all night, and start talking. ‘‘You ought to go away, it’s pretty certain they’ll trace your car.’’ Says Nick to Gatsby, and I agree. One can’t hang on to a dream forever and if he let go, it would be the best for everyone.

Gatsby then talks about his real life, and we learn that the one story that he told before was a lie. He chooses to talk about Daisy and how everything started one evening when he went to her house with the other officers from Camp Taylor, then he went all alone. It was dawn now, and they were still talking about Daisy.

Gatsby still refuses to believe that Daisy ever loved Tom, he thinks that the way Tom spoke scared her, and she came to a state where she didn’t know what she was saying. Gatsby always believes that she loved him more, even if she loved Tom for a minute. I think that Gatsby is just being delusional now and he isn’t thinking. Even after Daisy looked at him from the window that night and said nothing and went to bed, he still thinks that she will call; at least a part of him hopes that she will call.

When Nick leaves his house that morning, they promise to meet up in the afternoon. He says ‘’They’re a rotten crowd. You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.’’ which is the first nice thing he ever said to Gatsby, and he was right. I was surprised when he complimented him, when the night before he disliked him so much. Nick isn’t feeling well, he even refuses to meet up with Jordan, which was another shocking thing for me; and he says ‘’I couldn’t have talked to her across a tea-table that day if I never talked to her again in this world.’’

Then the chapter goes on with reflecting to Wilson and how he spends his days after the loss of his wife. Wilson is determined to find the killer of his wife, and his eyes are blinded by revenge. He keeps on repeating ‘’God sees everything.’’ When Michaelis leaves him alone, he comes back into the garage to find him gone. Wilson walks all afternoon until he reaches the West Egg, and asks for Gatsby’s house. I was surprised at how popular Gatsby was, and how Wilson learned his name until he walked to West Egg. The thing that really got me questioning was, how did he know that Gatsby (in reality Daisy) was the one who killed his wife? Wilson kills Gatsby in his swimming pool, and then also shots himself.

Nick rushes into the house that afternoon like he feels something, and goes over to the pool with the chauffeur, the gardener, and the butler to find Gatsby’s dead body floating on the water. It must have been really hard for him, to lose someone that he just started to like.

‘’It was after we started with Gatsby towards the house that the gardener saw Wilson’s body a little way off in the grass, and the holocaust was complete.’’ I thought that this was a very powerful ending, to a very powerful chapter.

Chapter 7: Reflection

I think that this was the most exciting, and also the most important chapter in the book. It definitely was the longest chapter, and the chapter with the most incidents. A lot of things happened in this chapter; like Tom finding out about Gatsby and Daisy, or Daisy killing Myrtle on the road.

At the beginning of the chapter, when Daisy invited Gatsby and Nick over; I immediately thought that it was a stupid idea. Having Gatsby over, with Tom, was a real sign of courage, and a sign that showed she didn’t want to hide anymore. The fact that Gatsby also replaced his staff, just because Daisy disapproved, and now was dropping by more often; shows that he cares so much about Daisy, and they are getting serious. There wasn’t a party that Saturday as well, which also surprised and worried me, like it worried Nick. Jus like Nick, I thought that ‘’Something was up.’’

When Nick and Gatsby arrived to Daisy’s house, they hear Tom’s ‘’gruffed, muffled, husky’’ voice on the telephone. They all think that he is on the phone with Myrtle, and so did I for a second; but he was on the phone with Wilson this time.

When Tom comes back, Daisy orders him to make a drink to get him out of the room again, and then she goes over to Gatsby, kisses him passionately and says ‘’You know I love you.’’ I must say that I admired Daisy’s courage in this scene, the fact that she could do something like this while her husband was meters away was brave; but also very, very stupid. They say that the most stupid person is the one in love, and I guess they are right; for Daisy clearly doesn’t see the dangers of her actions.

I thought the most important point of the chapter was at the bottom of page 75: She had told him that she loved him, and Tom Buchanan saw. He was astounded. His mouth opened a little, and he looked at Gatsby, and then back at Daisy as if he had just recognized her as someone he knew a long time ago.’’ From this point on, the chapter got more tense. For the first time in the novel, we saw Tom’s emotions, and how he changed and shifted moods in a second. That somewhat happy man goes, and an angry and furious one comes.

When tom goes inside the house to get whiskey, Gatsby says that Daisy voice is ‘’full of money.’’ At first I didn’t understand this powerful metaphor, but then it suddenly hit me. I don’t know whether I got it wrong or not; but Daisy had changed with all the money she married into.

Tom is furious, and starts to make personal remarks at Gatsby; saying things like ‘’You can buy everything at a drugstore nowadays.’’ Tom also realizes that Myrtle is going to move away, and has a life on her own besides the one she lives with Tom. All of the things that happen in an hour are enough to make Tom physically sick, and he can’t hold on much longer so he explodes to Gatsby in the hotel room.

I thought that Myrtle’s death was tragic, and I suddenly felt sorry for Tom who lost so much in a short period of time. I didn’t expect it to be Daisy though, the one who killed Myrtle. Tom bent over her wrapped body in the middle of the road. When they said it was a big yellow car, I immediately knew that it was Gatsby’s car, but I didn’t think that it was Daisy that was driving it. When Gatsby said that Myrtle came at the car like she wanted to talk, she obviously thought Tom was in the car, and she was going to leave Wilson and go with Tom. Tom would still have Myrtle, if he didn’t let Daisy go with Gatsby. Poor Tom.

The thing that surprised me about Myrtle’s death was: ‘’Well, first Daisy turned away from the woman towards the other car, and then she lost her nerve and turned back.’’ Did Daisy know that she was Tom’s mistress, why else would she steer the wheel towards her. She must have figured it out since Tom stopped at the garage when they were going to New York, and since the woman came at them like she knew them, Daisy must have figured out that she was Tom’s mistress. And that is why she steered the wheel towards her, she wanted her to disappear, and thought that this was the only way to make their troubles go away.

The end of the chapter was so sad, for both Tom and Gatsby. Gatsby stood there, watching the house in case there was any trouble, but there was no trouble at all. Tom and Daisy were eating in the kitchen, Tom’s hand was on top of hers; they weren’t happy, but they weren’t unhappy either. And Gatsby stood there watching over nothing.

Chapter 6: Reflection

The chapter starts with a reporter knocking on Gatsby’s door, hoping to interview him. He says that he heard Gatsby’s name somewhere and came over to look. From this alone, we can understand that Gatsby has done a great job of increasing his popularity not just in West Egg, but in New York.

The chapter then continues with Nick telling Gatsby’s story, not with rumors and lies, but the way it truly is. We learn that his real name is James Gatz and it was Dan Cody, who gave him the name Jay Gatsby. He was born in North Dakota and didn’t attend Oxford (Nick and Jordan were right from the beginning) but attended a small Lutheran College of St. Olaf’s in southern Minnesota; and dropped out in two weeks. He worked at Lake Superior and came across Dan Cody, a wealthy copper mogul. When he went out to Cody’s yacht, to warn him of a storm that has been coming up, Cody showed his gratefulness by hiring Gatsby as his assistant.

When Nick was telling this story, he said ‘’I suppose he’d had the name ready for a long time, even then. His parents were shiftless and unsuccessful farm people – his imagination had never really accepted them as his parents at all’’ which really touched me and showed me that Gatsby really is a lonely man, who doesn’t even have a family.

Jay Gatsby travelled with Cody around the continent for three times. One of his jobs as his assistant was also looking after him, when he got drunk; and this is why Gatsby doesn’t drink, even at his own party (I think that this thing about him is really spectacular since there are a few men that can hold their drink; and it also shows that Daisy and Gatsby are perfect for each other since they both don’t drink). In the previous chapter we learn that Gatsby lied about his fortune, he truly inherited his fortune from Cody but never really managed to get the millions that went to Ella Kaye, who is the ex-wife of Cody.

Cody was right about something, ‘’he found that he was quick and extravagantly ambitious.’’ Gatsby really is an ambitious man, or else he wouldn’t have the life that he has now.

‘’I had reached the point of believing everything and nothing about him’’ Nick says about Gatsby, and I agreed with him. We have heard so many rumors until now, that I too don’t know what to believe and I found that this quote just told what I felt.

Nick doesn’t see Gatsby or Daisy for weeks, and decides to drop at Gatsby’s for one afternoon. He surprisingly runs into Tom there, who came with Mr. Sloane and a woman from riding. I thought that Gatsby was so kind, running around and bringing them drinks, but they didn’t see his good intentions and kindness. When Gatsby tells Tom that he knows his wife, the scene gets a bit tense and awkward.

Gatsby invites everyone for dinner out of politeness and kindness, but they refuse and in return invite Gatsby for dinner as well. Gatsby accepts the offer, and thinks that they are sincere, but in reality they aren’t; they don’t want him. Gatsby is really a lonely man as I began to see for myself. He is surrounded by wealthy people who aren’t sincere, that don’t have the decency to say this but instead take advantage of Gatsby’s genuine kindness. I thought that I would rather be alone than have hundreds of people in my backyard who are secretly spreading rumors about me.

‘’I wonder where in the devil he met Daisy. By God, I may be old-fashioned in my ideas, but women run around too much these days to suit me. They meet all kinds of crazy fish.’’ Tom says to Nick, as they leave Gatsby’s mansion. Tom is really a hypocrite; he goes around meeting all kinds of ‘crazy fish’ and picks one as his mistress, while he criticizes Daisy of meeting sweet Gatsby.

The following Saturday, they all go to Gatsby’s party. But this party is different. Even Nick feels an ‘’unpleasantness in the air, a pervading harshness that hadn’t been there before’’. Daisy and Gatsby dance at the party, and I was particularly shocked by this. This is the first woman that we see dancing with Gatsby, and it is right under Tom’s nose. I also feel that Tom is getting suspicious, and has been suspicious ever since the day he came to Gatsby’s place; and I think that he just came to this party to take a closer look at Gatsby and understand him, and his intentions.

Gatsby and Daisy then go off to Nick’s house and place Nick as a watchmen. I thought that this was a pretty stupid thing to do, running off like this when Tom is around. There is no reason why Tom shouldn’t get suspicious and start doubting Daisy.

Daisy clearly doesn’t like the party, except for the half an hour that she spends with Gatsby. Tom then comes back to the table and starts telling the rumors about Gatsby. It is very clear that he doesn’t like him. Daisy and Tom leave the party early, which troubles Gatsby, who is aware that Daisy didn’t like the party.

Gatsby says that Daisy used to understand, and now he is going to make her understand. When Nick tells him that he can’t repeat the past, he objects. Gatsby thinks that he can do anything with his money, and his status; and fails to understand that he can’t turn back the time.

‘’He talked a lot about the past, and I gathered that he wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy.’’ I liked this quote and I thought that it described the situation perfectly. Gatsby really wants to go back, and take back the years. The ending of this chapter was confusing for me: ‘’what I had almost remembered was incommunicable forever.’’ I wondered what Nick remembered, and couldn’t say.

Chapter 5: Reflection

Chapter 5 begins with Nick seeing blazing lights, and thinking that his house is on fire; but turns out that the glowing lights that looked unreal were coming from Gatsby’s mansion. Like Nick, I also thought that there was another party going on in the tower, but I was also surprised to see Gatsby alone; and I agreed with Nick when he said ‘’Your place looks like a World’s Fair.’’ Even though I couldn’t see the place, I could still imagine and see it in my mind.

The scene suddenly got tense when Nick told Gatsby that he talked with Ms. Baker, and that he was going to call daisy tomorrow and invite her over. I felt Gatsby’s tension and restlessness as I empathized with him. As they are standing on Nick’s lawn, Gatsby makes him a business offer. He says that ‘’it happens to be a rather confidential sort of thing.’’ Even though we found out Gatsby’s secret, it still feels like he is hiding something, and he has more secrets to come. I started wondering if he was lying about the big family fortune that he inherited, and really was doing another business that needed to be kept confidential. Anything else doesn’t explain why he is getting phone calls from New Jersey or other states.

Later on, Nick calls Daisy to invite her over, and he strongly says ‘’Don’t bring Tom.’’ Daisy’s reaction to this (‘Who is ‘’Tom’’?’) surprised me. I thought that she would question the reason for this offer, and wouldn’t let go until she had an answer, but I didn’t think that she was so ready to sell Tom out.

And the day finally comes, where Gatsby meets Daisy after so many years. ‘’An hour later the front door opened nervously, and Gatsby in a white flannel suit, silver shirt and gold-colored tie, hurried in. He was pale, and there were dark signs of sleeplessness beneath his eyes.’’ If I was in Gatsby’s shoes, I would also be pale, with ‘’signs of sleeplessness beneath my eyes’’. Anyone would be nervous in Gatsby’s situation.

When Daisy comes, and walks into the living room with Nick, Gatsby isn’t there. ‘’Well, that’s funny’’ exclaims Nick, and I thought so too. I would expect Gatsby to be there, and for a moment I thought that he chickened out and didn’t have the heart to face Daisy after all these years. But, unlike what I think, Gatsby knocks the door a few minutes later and comes in looking as ‘’pale as death’’. When Daisy says ‘’I certainly am awfully glad to see you again’’, it was the exact thing I expected, they were going to fall in love again.

‘’We’ve met before’’ Gatsby starts, but he never gets to finish his word as he knocks down the clock with his head. I wondered what he was going to say, but we never had a chance to find out, to my disappointment. ‘’We haven’t met for many years’’ Daisy continues, but the conversation doesn’t carry on.

Daisy and Nick sit down and start chatting as Gatsby watches them with ‘’tense, unhappy eyes’’. When Nick decides to leave, I thought that he was doing the right thing, leaving them alone and giving them some time and privacy to talk but Gatsby says that he needs to talk to him before he goes. ‘’You are acting like a little boy. Not only that, but you’re rude. Daisy’s sitting in there alone’’ Nick says and I thought that he was absolutely right. Gatsby has been acting weird all day, probably nervous with the idea of seeing Daisy, but now he is acting like a restless little boy. Given his situation, I wouldn’t judge him, but he should be able to control himself a little.

When Nick comes back, he finds the two engaged in a deep conversation ‘’their voices rising and swelling a little now and then with gusts of emotion’’. They don’t hear that nick comes in, even though he makes every possible sound in the kitchen. When Nick finally comes in the living room, he finds Daisy’s face ‘’smeared with tears’’ and she jumps up probably out of embarrassment and starts to wipe the tears off her face with a handkerchief. ‘’But there was a change in Gatsby that was simply confounding. He literally glowed; without a word or a gesture of exultation a new well-being radiated from him and filled the little room.’’ I was surprised to see Gatsby change so much, even though they only spent mostly half an hour together. Gatsby is really still in love with Daisy, you can tell by the way he gets nervous, restless, and as pale as death with the idea of seeing her, and the way he glows when he actually spends time with her.

The three then decide to go over to Gatsby’s, because Gatsby wants to show his place to Daisy desperately. When they are waiting for Daisy to come outside, Gatsby says that it took him 3 years to make the money to buy the house. Like Nick, I was also shocked. I thought that he inherited the money. This shows that Gatsby’s secrets aren’t all revealed and he has more to hide.

Gatsby changes around Daisy. From the moment he saw her, he didn’t stop looking at her. It is like he is drunk, or high on something. ‘’He had passed visibly through two states and was entering upon a third. After his embarrassment and his unreasoning joy he was consumed with wonder at her presence.’’ Anyone in Gatsby’s place would go through these stages, he is so obviously in love with her; and his actions are described so well in this quote. Daisy also brings out the best in Gatsby, he changes when he is around her and starts to glow.

When they go to look at Gatsby’s wardrobe Daisy hugs the pile of shirts on the ground and starts crying intensely. ‘’ ‘They’re such beautiful shirts’ she sobbed, her voice muffled in the thick folds. ‘It makes me sad because I’ve never seen such – such beautiful shirts before’.’’ Even an idiot could understand that she isn’t crying because of the shirts, but because she is scared. Scared of the fact that she still loves Gatsby, and that he is back in her life overwhelms her with both gladness and sadness.

It starts raining again, so the three stay inside and just stare out of the window. ‘’If it wasn’t for the mist we could see your home across the bay. You always have a green light that burns all night at the end of your dock’’ says Gatsby to Daisy, implying that he knew all this time where she lived.

I loved the end of this chapter. It was strong and full of emotion. It was probably my favorite part of the book, and it made you want to keep on reading. ‘’As I watched him he adjusted himself a little, visibly. His hand took hold of hers, and as she said something low in his ear he turned toward her with a rush of emotion. I think that voice held him most, with its fluctuating, feverish warmth, because it couldn’t be over-dreamed that voice was a deathless song.

They had forgotten me, but Daisy glanced up and held out her hand; Gatsby didn’t know me now at all. I looked once more at them and they looked back at me, remotely, possessed by intense life. Then I went out of the room and down the marble steps into the rain, leaving them there together.’’

Chapter 4: Reflection

Chapter 4 starts with more rumors of Gatsby. The young ladies on his lawn say ‘’He’s a bootlelegger, one time he killed a man who had found out that he was nephew to Von Hindenburg and second cousin to the devil.’’ This book is starting to annoy me. I know that it is just the 4^th chapter, but I am curious about Gatsby. All we know is some rumors that go around about him, and that is it. We don’t know anything about his family, where he comes from, or even what he does for a living.

Personally I didn’t like the beginning of this chapter, and the one and a half page list of names. I thought that was too long and unnecessary, did Fitzgerald get bored so he felt like listing names for a page and a half? I didn’t even quite read it, because it had nothing to do with the story what so ever, and it felt like Fitzgerald was doing it on purpose; making the reader curious, and holding him/her. I continued the story from the end of the list.

Nick and Gatsby become good friends, and start to spend time together in the hydroplane, at his beach, and of course at his parties. Nick says ‘’He was never quite still; there was always a tapping foot somewhere or the impatient opening and closing of a hand’’ when he is describing Gatsby. Gatsby is very energetic and full of life (you can also understand this from how big his parties are), but he is also very nervous, like he is hiding something that he doesn’t want anyone to find out, and of course this makes the reader suspicious.

Through the times Nick spent together with Gatsby, he found out to his disappointment that ‘’he had little to say.’’ This was to my disappointment as well, as I thought that he was a man of many words. Nick continues ‘’So my first impression, that he was a person of some undefined consequence, had gradually faded and he had become simply the proprietor of an elaborate roadhouse next door.’’ I think that Nick starts to discredit Gatsby. I still think that he is a man of many words, and the reason that he has little to say is that he is hiding something (that hopefully we will find out later on). My impression of Gatsby is that he is still the ‘’undefined consequence’’, for he still has a secret. On the back of the book it says ‘’Jay Gatsby and the dark mystery that surrounds him’’; and we still haven’t found out Gatsby’s secret. I am curious.

When Gatsby comes to get Nick for their lunch in the city, they start talking in the car. ‘’ ‘I don’t want you to get a wrong idea of me from all these stories you hear.’ So he was aware of the bizarre accusations that flavoured conversation in his halls.’’ This is the first time that we hear something about Gatsby from his own mouth, and that isn’t a rumor. I thought that it was weird though, he knows that all these people are gossiping about him, and he still opens his house to every one of them, and doesn’t try to explain himself and remains a mystery to every one of them.

Gatsby then says that he is the son of wealthy people in Middle West that are all dead now. He was raised in America but went to Oxford, since it was a family tradition. When Nick asks him which part of the Middle West he is from, Gatsby says San Francisco. I was as surprised as Nick was since San Francisco is not in the Middle West. Gatsby is definitely hiding something. He continues his story by saying that he came into a great deal of money when his family died, and he went to the capitals of Europe, ‘’trying to forget something very sad that happened’’ to him long ago. I think that this ‘very sad’ thing that happened is Gatsby’s secret.

I was surprised when Gatsby said that he ‘’tried very hard to die’’ in the war, but ‘’seemed to bear an enchanted life’’. Who tries hard to die? I started to think that underneath all the money, glamour, and the parties; Gatsby is a very lonely and depressed man, probably because of the thing that happened to him.

‘’I drift here and there trying to forget the sad thing that happened to me. You’ll hear about it this afternoon.’’ When Gatsby said this, unlike Nick I wasn’t annoyed, I was interested to find out Gatsby’s secret; and the fact that the moment finally arrived kept me reading.

On page 44, it says: ‘’the city from the Quensboro Bridge is always the city seen for the first time, in its first wild promise of all the mystery and the beauty in the world.’’ I like this quote a lot; I thought that it was a unique description of a city.

When they go to have lunch in the city, a man named Mr. Wolfsheim joins them. When Mr. Gatsby leaves the table for a phone call, we find out a little more about him from Mr. Wolfsheim. ‘’He went to Oxford College in England’’ Mr. Wolfsheim says; to the surprise of Jordan, Nick, and I; because I thought that he was lying about Oxford as well. Mr. Wolfsheim says that he has known Gatsby for several years now (he can’t be lying) and ‘’made the pleasure of his acquaintance just after the war. But I knew I had discovered a man of fine breeding after I talked to him an hour.’’ We learn that later on Meyer Wolfsheim is a gambler and he is the man who fixed the World Series in 1919.

After their lunch is finished, Nick sees Tom in the far corner of the restaurant. He takes Gatsby to introduce him to Tom. When they shake hands, an ‘’unfamiliar look of embarrassment’’ comes across Gatsby’s face; which I wondered why he was so embarrassed. ‘’I’ve been having lunch with Mr. Gatsby’’ says Nick, but when he turns Mr. Gatsby is no longer there. I thought that this was the strangest thing that Gatsby did ever since the beginning of the novel. He had particularly no reason to feel embarrassed, and no reason to vanish; unless, he is hiding something, and his secret contains Tom.

Nick then goes to the Plaza Hotel to have tea with Jordan. She starts talking about Daisy, and this is the first time that we find out about her, and about Gatsby’s secret. Turns out, Jay Gatsby was Daisy’s old boyfriend and they were in love. Daisy, even hesitated to marry Tom when she received a letter (I suspect that it was from Gatsby). But later on, she married Tom without a shrug. Daisy was mad about her husband, and they had a very happy marriage, ‘’it was touching to see them together.’’ In the first chapter, when Nick came to dinner, Daisy heard the name Gatsby again, and sneaked into Jordan’s room at night to ask about him. When Jordan explained Gatsby, she was sure that he was the man from years ago.

Gatsby waited five years for her, he even bought the house on purpose, so that Daisy would be right across the bay, and he would see her house every day. I thought that this might be the reason that he stands on the bay at night, just looking into the sky or Daisy’s house. Learning Gatsby’s secret was relieving. I was shocked, because I wasn’t expecting a secret like this. The book started to get interesting, and I have a feeling that it will get more interesting when Nick invited Daisy for tea at his house, and Gatsby shows up as well.

Chapter 3: Reflection

Chapter 3 begins with a description of Gatsby’s legendary parties. ‘’There was music from my neighbour’s house through the summer nights’’ is the first sentence of the chapter, and I think that it is a very short but good description of Gatsby’s parties that start early in the morning and last until the next one.

Gatsby’s parties are legendary. Whomever Nick met so far, they all said that they know Mr. Gatsby from West Egg and had been to one of his parties; though no one actually knew Mr. Gatsby himself, and only heard rumors about him. As we can see, his parties contain all kinds of people: ‘’People were not invited- they went there.’’ Gatsby’s parties bring together the ‘’old rich’’ of the East Egg and the ‘’new rich’’ of the West Egg. Personally I really liked how this chapter started in a colorful way; I wanted to be at one of Gatsby’s parties when I was reading the description.

The fact that Nick was ‘’one of the few guests who had actually been invited’’ was honoring for him, as well as surprising. Nick wasn’t expecting an invitation to one of the legendary parties of his mysterious neighbour, and neither was I. ‘’The honour would be entirely Gatsby’s, it said, if I would attend his ‘little party’ that night’’ was the invitation Nick received. I loved how this invitation was so ironic; inviting Nick to attend the legendary ‘little party’.

In this chapter, we finally witness one of Gatsby’s parties, and actually meet Gatsby for the first time. We only saw Gatsby once, at the end of first chapter, and that was only a silhouette. As the reader, I was particularly curious about Gatsby’s parties and of course Gatsby himself, the man we heard so many rumors about.

Nick finally arrives to the party and is surprised to see ‘’number of Englishmen dotted about.’’ He gets bored since he is alone and doesn’t know anyone, so he tries to find his host, Mr. Gatsby. When he asks people about Gatsby, the look at him amazed and deny any knowledge; which seemed surprising to me and increased my curiosity in meeting Gatsby. I wondered why people were so afraid of the man, but still showed the courage to come to his house.

When he can’t find the host after all his attempts, Nick goes to the cocktail table- ‘’the only place in the garden where a single man could linger without looking purposeless and alone.’’ I particularly liked this description; probably because that it was true in 1920’s and still is in 2010’s. I wasn’t surprised when Nick ran into Jordan Baker at the party, and I knew that something would happen between these two.

Later on in the party, Jordan and Nick join a group at a table and they start to talk about Gatsby. ‘’He doesn’t want trouble with anybody’’ they say; they also say that they heard he killed someone, and that he was a German spy during the war. The fact that Gatsby is so mysterious, and we still don’t know anything about him besides his parties and that isn’t a rumor sharpens my curiosity. One of the girls’ comment surprised me when she said ‘’I’ll bet he killed a man.’’ Personally, I don’t think that Gatsby is a violent man, and is capable of killing someone. You may not know someone, and you may have heard rumors about him; but it is stupid to believe a rumor, unless you know that it isn’t, and judge a person by a possible lie that you heard.

When Jordan and Nick were looking for Gatsby, they go to a Gothic library. Inside there is a ‘’stout, middle-aged man, with enormous owl-eyed spectacles.’’ At first I thought that this somewhat drunk man was Gatsby, but later on I understood that it wasn’t.

Nick and Jordan then go out to the garden after having a little chat with the middle-aged man in the library. Nick starts talking to a man near his own age at the table. The man says that he remembers Nick from somewhere and it turns out that they were both in the First Division during the war. When this man turned out to be Gatsby, I was shocked. The fact that Nick and Gatsby knew each other from war was surprising. Nick says ‘’I had expected Mr. Gatsby would be a florid and corpulent person in his middle years’’ and I agree with him; I also expected someone in his middle ages.

‘’When Vladamir Tostoff’s Jazz History of the World was over, girls were putting their heads on men’s shoulders in a puppyish, convivial way, girls were swooning backward playfully into men’s arms, even into groups, knowing that someone would arrest their falls- but no one swooned backward on Gatsby, and no French bob touched Gatsby’s shoulder, and no singing quartets were formed with Gatsby’s head for one link.’’ People avoid Gatsby, even when they are at his mansion. Gatsby is a lonely man in a crowd. Maybe that is why he throws all these massive parties; in order not to feel so isolated.

When Gatsby wants to talk to Jordan alone I wondered what he said to her, especially when she came saying ‘’I’ve just heard the most amazing thing,’’ This will be a very significant moment in the novel; what Gatsby said to Jordan in that room is very important, and I am sure that it is going to come up later in the story and we will find it out.

From the words ‘‘The familiar expression held no more familiarity than the hand which reassuringly brushed my shoulder’’, we understand that Gatsby is familiar to Nick from somewhere, they already have seen and probably know each other from before.

Fitzgerald describes the end of the party very well with ‘’A sudden emptiness seemed to flow now from the windows and the great doors, endowing with complete isolation the figure of the host, who stood on the porch, his hand up in a formal gesture of farewell.’’

Towards the end of the chapter Nick says that he has feelings for Jordan, which only proves me right, it was obvious.

Chapter 2: Reflection

The second chapter was generally more interesting for me than the first one. The chapter starts with a calm scene. Dr. T. J. Eckleburg is staring endlessly, ‘’above the gray land and spasms of bleak dust’’ with his gigantic, piercing blue eyes. I thought that this portrait was overly calm; but the sort of calm and quiet that comes after a raging thunderstorm (and the dust and the grayness of the scene gave me a post war image). After I read the info on the back, I understood that this was a very important scene that will also come up later in the story.

The chapter got interesting for me after Tom said ‘’I want you to meet my girl’’ to Nick. I didn’t quite understand why he would do this, since Nick is the cousin of his wife, but I was more surprised and perhaps eager to find out whom this woman was. ‘’Then I heard footsteps on a stairs, and in a moment the thickish figure of a woman blocked out the light from the office door’’: I thought that this quote was a very important one, as in giving the reader the first impression on this woman. The first impression I got wasn’t nice; I thought that his woman is everything that Daisy is not (first of all being thick). The fact that she also blocked the light from the office door also made me think that this woman brings darkness and bad with her; again, unlike Daisy who lights up the room that she is in. This woman also had a ‘’immediately perceptible vitality’’ on her face, which is also unlike Daisy, who has a smile that brightens the dark room.

I think the fact that Myrtle picked up a copy of Town Tattle and there are also several copies at the apartment shows that she is a low class woman who likes gossip and isn’t interested in reading anything but it. There is also a copy of Simon Called Peter next to the Town Tattles, which in reality is a novel that Fitzgerald harshly criticized and described it as ‘’immoral.’’ I think that Fitzgerald implies that she is not a very good woman by making her read that book that he absolutely loathes.

The most important part of the chapter is I think on page 21 (‘’With the influence of the dress her personality had also undergone a change. The intense vitality that had been so remarkable in the garage was converted to impressive hauteur. Her laughter, her gestures, her assertions became more violently affected moment by moment, and as she expanded the room grew smaller around her, until she seemed to be revolving on a noisy, creaking pivot through the smoky air.’’) . This part shows that Myrtle turns to one of these stuck-up, newly rich people when she comes to New York; taking courage from Tom and his money. Myrtle thinks highly of herself, thinks that she is something, when in reality she is just a mistress, without any class or decency as we can also see in chapter 1, when she phones Tom from his house at dinnertime. I don’t understand what Tom sees in her, when he has a woman like Daisy as his wife.

We also find out a little more about Mr. Gatsby in this chapter. Myrtle’s sister Catherine says that she went to one of his parties and says that he is rumored to be a cousin or a nephew of Kaiser Wilhelm’s and that is where his money comes from. She also says that she is scared of him and would hate to give him anything on herself. Mr. Gatsby still remains to be a mysterious character for me; all we know is that his parties are very popular. Mysterious Mr. Gatsby is probably the most interesting character in the book so far.

Nick and Catherine’s small talk in this chapter had a lot of information. First we learned that she knows Mr. Gatsby, and then we learn that Tom and Myrtle both can’t stand the person they’re married to. Catherine later on says ‘’You see, it’s really his wife that’s keeping them apart. She’s a Catholic, and they don’t believe in divorce’’ (page 23) which shows that Tom is a hypocrite: he is not only lying to Daisy and going to another woman, but he is also lying to Myrtle about Daisy, saying that she is a Catholic and that is the reason that he can’t get a divorce. I really want to know the real reason.

Towards the end of the chapter Tom and Myrtle have a fight about whether she is aloud to mention Daisy’s name or not. From the description in the first chapter, I thought that Tom was a scary man, but when he broke Myrtle’s nose, that only proved me right.

Chapter 1: Reflection

The chapter starts with Nick talking about the advice that his father gave to him in his ‘’younger and more vulnerable years’’, and he has been thinking about it and trying to wrap his mind around it ever since. ‘’Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had’’ said his father.

I found this rather an effective beginning and it caught my interest, making me want to read more. Just like Nick, I tried to understand what his father tried to say, his advice is also ‘’turning over in my mind’’ just like in Nick’s.

After the deep beginning of the book, which is beautiful, but still kind of heavy and hard to understand; I started to understand fully when Nick began to talk about his well-rooted family and their life in the Middle West. Also when Nick decides to be in the bond business, his family’s reaction (‘’All my aunts and uncles talked it over as if they were choosing a prep school for me, and finally said ‘Why- ye-es with very grave, hesitant faces’’ (pg.4)) shows that his family is a very connected and close family. The fact that Nick is a Yale graduate caught my interest too as I spent the summer in Yale University. I wish he talked more about his childhood and family.

When a man asked Nick how to get to West Egg village, and Nick didn’t feel lonely anymore; as if he was a guide, and original settler and felt that, that man conferred him the freedom of the neighborhood- made me laugh. I don’t know why I found it that amusing, maybe it was the fact that he could be happy and feel on top of the world with something so little.

Though I found Gatsby’s mansion beautiful and heavenly, I thought that East Egg was more interesting than the West Egg, when Nick went over to his cousin Daisy and Tom’s house. The description of their house was extraordinarily beautiful, and their house is red and white just like my dream home.

Fitzgerald also portrayed the two women on the couch and the dinner at sunset perfectly and beautifully.

I thought that the most interesting character was Daisy in this chapter, with her bubbly personality and her enthusiasm which gave her a charm that makes her stand out of the crowd. Also the fact that she had a perfect life, a beautiful daughter, and a happy marriage on the outside, but really was getting cheated on and wasn’t happy on the inside showed me that there were two sides to Daisy’s life and character and I wanted to learn more about her. That is why I chose to write my imaginary journal from Daisy’s point of view.

Pre-Reading

I think that this book will be very interesting, and somewhat fun to read. Just by reading the back of the book I can understand that this will be a catching story (one of those that take you in, and make you lose track of time), and the book will be hard to drop. Personally, I like books like ''The Great Gatsby'' that talk about upper social classes, wealth, and the lives of the wealthy. On the back of the book it says ''Through the narration of Nick Carraway, the reader is taken into the... Jay Gatsby and the dark mystery which surrounds him.'' This long sentence creates curiosity in my mind and attracts me even more to the book, making me want to open the cover and start reading now. And that is exactly what I am going to do now.