Post-Reading

At first I thought that I wouldn’t like this book, and it was too heavy to read. The language was very hard to understand, as there were many literary devices used, and it made it seem like this book would go on forever and never finish. The subject of the book was very interesting though and it drew me in as I continued to read. I kept on reading the book and I realized that I wasn’t dropping it from my hand. Despite the very confusing and hard language to understand, I really enjoyed The Great Gatsby, and solving the mystery that surrounded him.

Being Daisy: Chapter 9

Tom and I left our beautiful house early that afternoon at East Egg, Long Island behind; and we drove at full speed at a highway, without looking back. It was a beautiful Georgian colonial mansion, and had the most beautiful view. We moved a lot, but East Egg was the only place that brought us this much sorrow.

Pammy was sleeping on the back seat while Tom drove in silence. We didn’t say a word to each other; all of it was said and done already. I watched the road signs that flew by. Suddenly I remembered that dreadful night, not so long ago; though it seemed like years past. The terror of that night came back into my eyes, and I heard the painful scream again. I froze in shock and realized that I wasn’t breathing. I gasped for air.

‘’Are you okay?’’ Tom asked breaking the silence; he looked concerned. I nodded, he turned his head back to the road and the silence came back again. I was going to a happier place, I thought. We would have a new life there; start all over again, without Nick, Jordan or anyone.

I couldn’t say or hear his name. Even the name itself brought so much pain and sorrow into me. I wish things didn’t end this way, but they did. I never turned my head and looked back the minute we left the house, but a voice inside me told me that I should, and so I did.

There stood a beautiful mansion on the right; it was so beautiful, that it was painful to look at. Right across it was another mansion on the left. The color, the sounds of music and laughter were now gone and didn’t leave any traces on the grey building.

I turned my head forward again and decided to look at the future, and let go of the past and the events that happened in both of the mansions. One can’t live in the past, I thought, it will kill one if you don’t let go of it.

We reached a hotel that we would spend the night; Tom was pretty exhausted from driving. He called home to check everything was ok, and his face changed suddenly. I asked Tom what happened, curiosity pouring from my voice. ‘’He got killed.’’ he said. ‘’Jay Gatsby died.’’

His words sank in one by one, each one having a larger effect than the other. Time suddenly stood still. I tried so hard not to cry in front of Tom. My body froze with the shock of the news. I wanted to move, wanted to cry so hard until I lost my voice, but I couldn’t. I looked at Tom, who looked out the window with a blank expression on his face. I realized I wasn’t breathing and gasped for air; at that moment I started shaking with sobs.

I ran to the bathroom and locked the door with the last strength I had. I sat down hugging the carpet and crying. I remembered the time I cried hugging Jay’s shirts on the floor, and how he picked me up. I waited for him to come pick me off the floor again, but no one came.

He was out of my life forever, I wanted him to be, and now he was. I thought so much about calling him the day after that night, but something stopped me from reaching to that phone. It was Tom, and the life we had together. I didn’t want to throw my family away, and I never called Jay. That day he died, so I heard when I came back into the room when I regained a little self-control. I thought about calling his house and talking to Nick, but I ended up never calling.

I couldn’t possibly go to the funeral. I couldn’t bear to see him buried deep underground. The past is the past, I thought. You have to let go of your dreams some time. I placed my head in Tom’s lap as he stroked my hair. I thought about the first time Jay kissed me, and drifted into a heavy sleep, hoping not to wake up ever again.

Being Daisy: Chapter 8

Tom and I went upstairs to go to bed. It had been a tiring afternoon for both us, and we entered our bedroom without looking at each other. Tom crawled into the bed and slept without saying good night. I turned and walked towards the window, and looked out in the garden, my eyes searching for the silhouette of a man that I loved. He was standing in the middle of our garden. Even though I couldn’t see his eyes, I still felt his gaze locked to mine. There was nothing left to say, we both knew that I would close the light and go back to the bed that I shared with my husband. A single tear fell down from my eye as I turned the lights off and went to bed next to Tom; the bed was now cold with the things that happened that afternoon. That was the last time I saw Jay.

I lay awake wondering what it would be if I ran away now. I would go to Jay and he would hold me in his arms, and we would run away together, disappearing into the night. I thought about leaving, with Jay by my side. How nice and warm it would be. I thought about getting lost in that world that was only known by us. But we both knew that this was out of the question now. I chose to go back to bed with Tom, leaving Gatsby in the dark garden, alone and abandoned.

How could I leave Tom and my family? I had a three-year-old daughter; I didn’t want my daughter to be motherless. I loved Jay; I knew that with all my heart. But I had a life now. I am not the young girl that went from date to date with orchids in her hand five years ago. I changed. I had a beautiful family, and a husband that loved me. Tom might go and do foolish things sometimes, but he never left me all alone, he always came back to me; and he was back now.

And this was the reason why I couldn’t live my dream, why I couldn’t go with the man that I loved and waited for all that time. I wish it was five years ago now, and I wish that he returned to America on time. But wishes never do come true. I am thankful for the family that I have now.

I turned to my side. Tom was lying right next to me, his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping though; I could feel that he was wide-awake and thinking about everything that happened that night. I watched his sleepless body that didn’t move an inch. I realized that I loved Tom, and that we belonged together. I thought about telling him the accident that happened that night, how I killed a woman with Gatsby’s car, but something stopped me from dragging Tom out of his thoughts. I couldn’t tell him that I was a murderer. I looked at him again and watched him as we both dazed into a heavy sleep.

Being Daisy: Chapter 7

Days seemed to go by faster now. Life was suddenly easier, and happier. I didn’t mind Tom and his mistress anymore. Everything seemed so easy; life seemed so easy. I felt like I could do anything; conquer the world. With Jay on my side, I actually could. He made everything easier. He colored my black and white world; he gave me life again. Everything now seemed right.

I started to see him more often. I would go by his house in the afternoons. Seeing him was the best part of my day, the best part of my life. Nothing could go wrong when I was with him. He made me feel safe, he made me feel loved, and he made me feel like I mattered for the first time. It was so strange; I didn’t feel like this before. Just the way he looked at me was enough to make me forget the reality, and we drifted deep into our own world again. Now, I started going to that world every afternoon.

I invited Jay to lunch one day, and I told him to invite Nick too. He called me saying that Nick would be here tomorrow, and I suddenly was relieved. I couldn’t cope with Tom and Jay all alone, I needed someone to be there, and Nick was the perfect man for the job. I phoned Nick after talking with Jay, and told him how glad I was that he was coming.

The next day was a broiling, and certainly the hottest summer day. When Jay and Nick arrived, Jordan and I couldn’t even get up to greet them, we just lay down on the couch, not able to move. Tom didn’t greet them as well. Just when the door opened, the metallic shrill of the phone disturbed my peace once again. That woman without decency kept calling my house more often. I looked into Jay’s eyes, and calmed down.

‘’The rumor is, that that’s Tom’s girl on the telephone’’ whispered Jordan. I wasn’t a rumor it was the truth I thought. Tom’s voice rose in annoyance in the hall. He was screaming something about a car. ‘’Holding down the receiver’’ I said, I knew that it was that woman calling, he didn’t have to go around pretending that it wasn’t her. Nick’s answer surprised me though, he told me that it was a bona-fide deal, and he knew about it. I believed Nick; he would have kept quite if it really was that woman. If Nick knew about it, then it was true.

Tom came back, looking rather upset. I told him to go make drinks for us, to buy us more time. As soon as he left the room, I found the strength to get up slowly. I went over to Jay and pulled his face down to kiss him. Suddenly everything seemed alive again. The real world disappeared around us as we kissed, but reappeared as our lips slowly parted. ‘’You know I love you.’’ I muttered.

Just then as we were talking my sweet daughter came into the room. ‘’Blessed precious, come to your own mother that loves you.’’ I called to her. She was beautiful, all dressed up, her blond curly hair straight. My sweet little girl then met Nick and Jay. Jay kept looking at her in amazement, like he never believed in her existence before. As my daughter and her nurse walked away, Tom walked towards us with four drinks in his hands.

We had lunch in the dining room, after the boys came back from outside. We were just talking about what we should do, and I had the sudden urge to go into town. ‘’Who wants to go to town?’’ I cried with joy. Jay’s eyes floated towards me, he looked so cool. Our eyes met again; our gazes locked. Tom and the others disappeared around the table as we stared at each other alone in space. I made an effort to look down on the table. ‘’You always look so cool’’ I muttered.

Then I told him that I loved him, and Tom saw. I knew he saw, and I knew that he heard it. He was astounded. His mouth opened a little, and his gaze shifted between Jay and me. I didn’t want him to find out this way. I felt so sorry, I regretted saying those words. I couldn’t hold myself, the words just spilled out of my mouth, and I had no control over it.

‘’You resemble the advertisement of a man.’’ I continued innocently, trying to pick myself up and just cool the environment; trying to make Tom forget what he just witnessed. Tom suddenly jumped up and said that he was willing to go to town. He rushed us outside, and it was too hot to fuss.

‘Well, you take my coupe and let me drive your car to town’’ suggested Tom to Jay; distaste appeared in his face. He kindly told him that there wasn’t enough gas, but Tom objected and said that he would buy some from the drugstore; you could buy anything from a drugstore these days. A pause followed this unnecessary remark. I looked Tom frowning, and an unfamiliar expression came to Jay’s face.

Tom the pulled me towards Gatsby’s car, but I stood where I was like a hard rock that stood it’s ground, I refused to move. ‘’You take Nick and Jordan. We’ll follow you in the coupe’’ I said. I knew what I was doing, and I was aware of the risks. I didn’t care anymore; I never wanted to leave Jay’s side. I walked close to him touching his coat. The other three got in the car and shot off into the heat, leaving us out of sight.

‘’I’m scared’’ I suddenly blurted out, hugging Jay. He hugged me back, trying to comfort me. ‘’I know,’’ he said ‘’No one told you that it was going to be easy.’’ But it felt so easy when I was with Jay. I didn’t imagine it would be this hard. We stood there in the middle of the desert heat, hugging each other. I never wanted to let him go, I already did that mistake once. He slowly backed and kissed me one more time before we got into the car, and drove away.

Our ride was silent. Words weren’t enough to communicate our feelings now. We had a way of communicating without speaking now. There was nothing more to say, or nothing more to do. I thought about the idea of leaving Tom. The heaviness of the idea came crashing down on me. I felt like I couldn’t breath. It seemed so easy before, but now I wasn’t sure that I could do it. I looked at Jay who was driving.

We passed an old looking garage where Jay’s car was parked on the side. I told Jay to pull right and wait for them, and we did. He held my hand, and we locked gazes again. Just as he was leaning in, a bright yellow car stopped behind us. Jordan screamed that she wanted to go to the movies. ‘’It’s so hot.’’ I complained ‘’You go. We’ll ride around and meet you after.’’ I hoped that they would agree. I wanted to spend more time alone with Jay. But of course they didn’t.

We then pulled over to the Plaza Hotel and rented a room to talk. The suite was so hot as well. Tom started making personal remarks to Jay, and I didn’t like it one bit. I told him that I wasn’t going to take his attitude, and I wouldn’t stay there a minute if he continued. He stopped and I looked at Jay apologetically. The light in his eyes drew a smile to my face, and I suddenly felt that I was brightening the room like the sun brightened the day. I controlled myself and wiped it from my face.

Tom then questioned Jay about going to Oxford. I told him to open the whiskey, maybe then he wouldn’t seem so stupid to himself. He stood firm on the ground and told me there was just one more thing he wanted to ask Mr. Gatsby. ‘’What kind of a row are you trying to cause in my house anyhow?’’ asked Tom with sternness and determination in his voice.

I froze and realized the mistake I made, the risk I took. Oh how foolish of me, to think that it would be easy. The reality of the situation sunk in to me slowly as I looked across the small suite. They were out in the open, but I didn’t want them to be. Why was I so weak? I couldn’t even shut myself up and let my mouth blurt out things that I didn’t mean to say. ‘’He isn’t causing a row,’’ I said looking desperately between Jay and Tom. ‘’You’re causing a row. Please have a little self control.’’ I begged. That was enough to throw Tom off the roof.

‘’I’ve got something to tell you, old sport – ‘’ Jay began. I had to do something, this was going out of hand; actually it already went out of hand, but I still had to stop Jay from saying those words that I now didn’t believe in. ‘’Please, don’t!’’ I interrupted helplessly. ‘’Please let’s all go home. Why don’t we go home?’’ My desperate efforts weren’t enough, and I failed. Nick got up trying to help me, but he also failed as well. Tom and Jay drifted into their own world now, not caring if we were there or not. ‘’Your wife doesn’t love you,’’ said Jay ‘’She’s never loved you. She loves me.’’

There, he said it. The words that terrified me; the words that I was too scared to say blurted their way out of his mouth. The main reason I couldn’t say these words out loud, even to myself wasn’t the fact that they scared me. It was because they weren’t true.

Tom said some things that just seemed like a whisper far away. ‘’You’re revolting.’’ I suddenly found myself saying. ‘’Do you know the real reason why we left Chicago?’’ Jay suddenly came next to me, and told me that was all over now; he so sweetly tried to comfort me. ‘’Just tell him the truth – that you never loved him – and it’s all wiped out forever.’’ he said.

I hesitated. I looked at Jordan and Nick. It suddenly dawned on me. I wanted to throw myself out of the window, scream and sob until my I lost my voice. Storms were raging inside me, but I showed no sign of it. ‘’I never loved him.’’ I said.

The words fell out of my mouth, and that moment I wish they never did. I heard Tom saying things in a distance, but I didn’t listen to what he was saying. ‘’Daisy?’’ he said, with a husky tenderness and love in his tone. ‘’Please don’t’’ I begged, and turned to Jay with tears in my eyes. I didn’t believe in the things I was saying. I was standing there lying to my husband, the man I once loved. ‘’There Jay’’ I said.

The storms that were raging inside me decided to come out and show themselves at that moment. ‘’Oh you want too much.’’ I cried to Jay. ‘’I love you now – isn’t that enough? I can’t help what’s past’’ I began to sob. ‘’I did love him once - but I love you too.’’ They went on arguing, leaving me sobbing on the floor. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Tom then said that Jay sold grain alcohol over the drugstores, and that is how he became rich. I couldn’t believe the words I heard. He lied to me. The man I trusted with my life, the man I planned to run away with, the man I planned a new life with lied to me. I stared at my husband and Jay in a terrified way. Jay turned to me and denied everything, the false accusations that had been made about him.

‘’Please Tom! I can’t stand this anymore’’ I said. Whatever intentions and courage I had, were now gone from my eyes. I realized that I didn’t know what I was thinking when I invited Jay for dinner. I didn’t know the dangers of telling Tom this way, until now. Tom said that I should go with Jay. I looked at him, alarmed, but he was sure, he looked sure of his decision. And without a word, we were gone.

I was very nervous when we left the hotel, and I thought that driving would calm me down. And again, I was wrong. We were going down the road, and there was another car coming in the other direction. A woman suddenly rushed out of nowhere. I panicked, didn’t know what to do. I first turned away from her towards the other car, but then I don’t know what came over me. I suddenly lost my nerve and turned back. We both felt the shock on the wheel. Jay tried to make me stop, but I wouldn’t. It was like I turned into a rock, I couldn’t move. He pulled the emergency brake, and I flopped onto his lap. He drove from there on.

I locked myself in my room for a while. I tried to breath, but I couldn’t. I went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. It didn’t help. If Tom did anything to me, I was going to turn the light on and off so Jay would come and get me. The lights in my room were on now, and I lay on the bathroom floor with my eyes red and swollen. I felt like a corpse, a walking dead. I dragged my body out of the bathroom into the house.

Tom and I sat down at the kitchen table, across each other. He was talking intently, but I didn’t hear anything he said from the echoing and ringing scream of the woman in my ear, just like the metallic shrill of the phone that also rang in my ear that night in June. I raised my head once a while and nodded in agreement. His hand covered mine as we sat down looking at the full plates in front of us.

Being Daisy: Chapter 6

Tom came home late that day from a dinner at Sloane’s. I answered the door that woke me up from my nap. He entered, grabbed me from my waist and kissed me passionately. ‘’You look beautiful’’ he said. I kissed him back, but with less passion. I didn’t feel it anymore, but I kissed him back so that he wouldn’t notice. There was something weird, something bitter about that kiss; I never figured out what it was.

He dragged me upstairs, not letting go of my hand. I suddenly remembered Jay’s touch, and how differently he held my hand. Lighter and warmer… We went to our bedroom and he suddenly turned to me and said ‘’How do you know Gatsby?’’ I panicked. The name, and it’s meaning came crashing down on me. I couldn’t speak, words that came to my mind didn’t come out of my mouth; I was overwhelmed with shock.

‘’You remember the day I went to Nick’s for tea? He stopped by that day; Nick introduced us. He is Nick’s neighbour.’’ I said, my voice trembling. ‘’I know.’’ Tom said, with a cool voice. ‘’Why do you ask?’’ I said, words barely making it out of my mouth that was now frozen. ‘’We stopped at his house for drinks today,’’ he explained ‘’He told me that he knew you. But the way he said it was… strange. Anyway, we are going to his party on Saturday.’’ He gave me a kiss good night and turned around to sleep, like nothing happened.

I lay awake in bed for a little more; my mind trying to grasp what just happened. I was glad that we were going to that party that we heard so much about; but a part of me was worried and didn’t want to go. I wanted to see Jay, more than anything. But a part of me worried, since Tom would also be there, and probably watching us the way a hawk watches it’s pray, following our every move.

Saturday came more quickly than I expected, and I found myself at Jay’s house with Tom by my side. He greeted us, giving me a look that only I could understand. We went inside and he showed us a beautiful woman under the plum tree, said that she was a movie star; she looked lovely.

We went to our table, and Jay asked me to dance. We got up to the dance floor, and danced for a few minutes; which seemed to pass by so quickly. We locked gazes and never looked at anyone or anything around us. It was just Jay and I. And there we drifted to our own world again. When our dance ended, we went to Nick’s place to speak. Nick was our watchman in case there was a fire, a flood, or any act of God.

Nick’s place was the only place that we could be alone. He kissed me passionately, and I kissed him back, with the same passion. ‘’Tell Tom,’’ he said ‘’Tell him that you don’t love him anymore.’’ He kissed me again. He then pulled away, and waited for my answer. ‘’You don’t love him anymore, right?’’ he said, with doubt in his voice. ‘’I never loved him.’’ I answered. ‘’So tell him, and you can be free. Then we will go back to Louisville and get married – just as if it were five years ago.’’ He spoke with such joy and happiness.

I realized there; he changed when I was around. He started glowing whenever he caught a glimpse of me, and I wasn’t the only one who could see this. I knew Nick could realize it too. I changed him, made him glow, just like he made me glow. Whenever I even heard his name, it would make me smile, my heart would start beating faster. I knew this was love. ‘’I need more time. I have a daughter, a family. Tom hasn’t been a good husband, but he is a good father; and I can’t do this to my daughter. When you have a family, you have to think of it before yourself. They come before me and my needs.’’ I spoke with certainty in my voice that even I didn’t believe. He smiled to my surprise. ‘’I waited for you for five years, and I finally found you. I’m not going to let go this time. I think I can wait a little longer.’’ He spoke with a smile across his face. We just stood there a little longer, looking into each other’s eyes.

Honestly, I didn’t like the party. West Egg appalled me. I just saw something awful when I looked around, it didn’t amaze me. I pretended to like it, so Jay would be happy. But I was disgusted when that drunk girl came to me and asked me to put her under a cold shower.

We went back to the table, and Jay left to talk to some of his guests. Tom came back not so later than us. He was obsessed with what Jay did for a living. I didn’t mind Tom and his unnecessary questions that much now, it bothered me less as the days passed by.

We left the party early, and went back home. The best part of the party was the minutes I spent with Jay, other than that I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I lay awake on the bed, thinking about Jay and his offer. I was going to tell Tom, I couldn’t keep on lying to him like this. I wasn’t being fair to him, or to myself. I deserved to be happy, and Jay was the one person that could make me happy. Just as I was thinking about these things, I remembered the first time he kissed me.

It was an autumn night, five years ago. Moon was lighting the dark night. Leaves were falling around us. We came to a place where there were no trees, and we stopped, facing each other. It was a cool night, and the lights of the houses went out around us, vanishing into the night one by one. Our hearts beat faster as we came closer. Then he kissed me. A kiss so full of love but hesitant, so light but powerful at the same time. I fell asleep as a smile appeared across my face.

Being Daisy: Chapter 5

I finally received a call from Nick today. I was so happy to hear his voice. He invited me to tea at his own house, and of course I gladly accepted the offer. But he said that I shouldn’t bring Tom, and didn’t answer me when I asked him why. It was particularly strange of him; I didn’t expect him to say something like this.

Finally the day arrived that I would see my cousin. I was ecstatic with joy. I arrived at his place no later than four, and he greeted me at the driveway. We told the driver to drive away and keep himself busy for an hour, and then went inside. It felt so good to be with Nick again, I was nearly jumping up and down with joy. When we went inside, he seemed kind of surprised though, like something that was supposed to be there wasn’t there anymore. His eyes searched around the deserted room.

Just then we heard a small knock on the door. Nick went to answer it. A man as pale as death walked inside. My heart nearly stopped beating, then it started beating again like it would rip out of my chest. I locked eyes with the pale man. He didn’t have to say anything, I knew it was him from the moment he walked in; I could feel it in every bone of my body. After so many years, Jay Gatsby stood right before me.

He didn’t have to say anything, or introduce himself to me. We instantly knew who each other were. I laughed. ‘’I certainly am awfully glad to see you again’’ I said. We stopped talking and just looked at each other. There was so much to talk, so much to say, but no words.

When Nick came into the living room we were sitting down. I was frightened, like a ghost from my past just reappeared, but I was glad. ‘’We’ve met before’’ Jay tried to explain to Nick, but he needed no explanation. I could tell that he was embarrassed and nervous, how could he not be after five years? I was embarrassed too, and nervous of course, but I tried not to show it.

Nick and I started chatting then, and Jay hid himself in a shadow and watched us. His eyes flickered from one of us to the other as we took turns speaking, and he looked at us with tense, unhappy eyes. Nick suddenly got up to leave the room. I was actually glad that he decided to leave us alone. Just at that moment, Jay went with him to speak to him, and I was once again alone.

I wondered what they were speaking, what Jay was telling him. Did he now want to be alone with me? I could understand if he didn’t, after all it would be a bit awkward after all the things that we have been through. Suddenly, I felt the urge to leave. A voice inside me was telling me that this was a bad idea. But I chose to shut that voice up. I wanted to stay, even if it was dangerous, even if it meant that I still had feelings for Jay, that I was still in love with him. And maybe, I was.

Just as I was starting to get restless, Jay came back in and sat down next to me. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. I was still in love with him. We looked at each other, for a few minutes. ‘’Has it really been five years?’’ I asked. Five years now seemed shorter. He nodded, ‘’You changed a lot,’’ he said ‘’it was hard to find you.’’

I couldn’t hold myself anymore; tears came running down my eyes as he told me how he looked for me, how he came to Chicago and how read a Chicago newspaper, hoping to catch a glimpse of me, and in the end he found out that I was living here so he bought the house right across me. He still had feelings for me, after five years. The fact that I also had feelings for him scared me. I couldn’t control myself now; tears were flooding down my face as we talked about the times we shared together.

Just at that moment, Nick came back in. I suddenly jumped up and went to the nearest mirror to fix myself. Jay wanted me to see his house, so we all stood up to go there. I excused myself and went to the bathroom first, to fix myself and gain my self-control back. I had to breath and calm myself down. Being with Jay again brought me gladness and pain at the same time; it hurt being with him, being happy with him. I took one last breath and went outside where Nick and Jay were waiting for me.

His house was breathtaking, and absolutely splendid. We looked at every little thing around the house. I could see that Jay was nervous, and that he was feeling what I am feeling. I looked at him when he was giving a tour of his house, and he never looked away when he was speaking. An unexplained joy filled his eyes as he talked, the man from five years ago was back, and this scared me.

Just as we were looking at his shirts, I couldn’t hold myself. A ghost from my past just reappeared, and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and got scared, and broke down. I started crying intensely, sobs shook me as they left my body. I tried to gain control of myself again, and after a great deal of time I managed.

Jay picked me off the ground and helped me stand up. We decided to go look at the grounds and have a walk in the garden, but then when I stopped, the rain started again. We just stood in front of the window, gazing at the mist that surrounded us. ‘’If it wasn’t for the mist we could see your home across the bay’’ he said. I put my arm through his.

We then started looking around the room; he never told me that he had a pompadour, or a yacht. He then pulled me and showed me the clippings he collected. They were all about me. Tears came back into my eyes, but these were tears of joy and astonishment. I couldn’t believe that he went everywhere, all around the world to find me. Just then the phone rang, and he had to go. I went to the window again, looking at the beautiful pink clouds above the sea.

Jay then decided that we needed some music and called Mr. Klipspringer into the room. A man young man with glasses and blond hair came into the room, wearing a ‘sport shirt’, sneakers and duck trousers. We went down stairs to hear the piano. Jay lit my cigarette and we sat down on a couch far off in the corner, where the lights didn’t reach.

My eyes were glowing now, not with the tears but with joy, just as his eyes were glowing the same way. I still couldn’t believe that I was here five years later, with Jay Gatsby; the only man I truly loved, and still love to this day. We had forgotten that Nick was there, and we drifted in our own world, leaving him behind.

He took hold of my hand and I whispered ‘’I love you’’ in his ear. A rush of emotion took him and he turned towards me, pulling me against him. We locked eyes again. Nick stood up to leave, and I remembered that he was still there. I held my hand out to him, but Jay still didn’t remember Nick and kept his eyes on mine. I pulled myself back a little and we both looked at Nick, so full of life, as he looked back at us. He turned and went down the marble steps, leaving us alone in that room.

Being Daisy: Chapter 4

It was a lonely day. I had the house all to myself again. Jordan went out, said that she had things to do in the city and then she was going to meet Nick for tea. I am happy for them, there is now no need of me to set them up. They look amazing together. I couldn’t be happier for them.

Although I am happy for him, I am upset and annoyed with Nick. He is supposed to be my cousin, but he hasn’t called in weeks. I thought that since we now lived close to each other, we now would be closer as well. How can we be closer, if he doesn’t call? I missed him, oh so much; but he calls Jordan instead. I am not mad at him for calling Jordan, since he is interested in her. All I am saying is that he can also call me once in a while. Maybe, if he called of course, I wouldn’t feel this lonely. Let’s face it, I have a family, but I am the lonely person in a crowd. When I am alone in the house, like today, the house looks so big, and I feel so small.

When Tom came back tonight, he said that he saw Nick in the city at lunch. I want to go to lunch with Nick someday, I need to see him. He might not have missed me, but I sure missed my dear cousin and I intend on seeing him. Tom also said that Nick was at lunch with a man. A man that is a gentleman, from what he saw. Right at that moment, I stopped. My stomach got tied, and I couldn’t speak. He said that nick was having lunch with someone named Gatsby.

Tom asked me what was wrong after he told me the name. I couldn’t tell him, I didn’t have the heart to tell him. I told tom that I was going to take a shower and rushed upstairs.

Gatsby? Could it really be? The Gatsby, My Gatsby from years ago. I waited and waited for him, but he didn’t come. That is why I married Tom. I do not regret marrying Tom, but Gatsby… I haven’t heard that name until six weeks ago, when Jordan mentioned him. Even then, I snuck out to her room and asked her about this man. I wasn’t sure that it was the Gatsby from years ago, like I am still not sure now. But even just the name Gatsby, is enough to send shivers down my spine and make me feel something that is buried deep in my heart. I want to meet this Gatsby fellow. It can’t be him, can it? Everything seems so confusing right now. Questions come and go in my mind. A part of me wishes that it is my Gatsby and that part also wants to see him so much; but the other part of me is numb, I don’t feel anything, and that part knows that it would be dangerous to see Gatsby, even after all these years. But I know, what have I got to loose? It won’t hurt to check this man out. I want to see him. I want to see Gatsby.