Tom came home late that day from a dinner at Sloane’s. I answered the door that woke me up from my nap. He entered, grabbed me from my waist and kissed me passionately. ‘’You look beautiful’’ he said. I kissed him back, but with less passion. I didn’t feel it anymore, but I kissed him back so that he wouldn’t notice. There was something weird, something bitter about that kiss; I never figured out what it was.
He dragged me upstairs, not letting go of my hand. I suddenly remembered Jay’s touch, and how differently he held my hand. Lighter and warmer… We went to our bedroom and he suddenly turned to me and said ‘’How do you know Gatsby?’’ I panicked. The name, and it’s meaning came crashing down on me. I couldn’t speak, words that came to my mind didn’t come out of my mouth; I was overwhelmed with shock.
‘’You remember the day I went to Nick’s for tea? He stopped by that day; Nick introduced us. He is Nick’s neighbour.’’ I said, my voice trembling. ‘’I know.’’ Tom said, with a cool voice. ‘’Why do you ask?’’ I said, words barely making it out of my mouth that was now frozen. ‘’We stopped at his house for drinks today,’’ he explained ‘’He told me that he knew you. But the way he said it was… strange. Anyway, we are going to his party on Saturday.’’ He gave me a kiss good night and turned around to sleep, like nothing happened.
I lay awake in bed for a little more; my mind trying to grasp what just happened. I was glad that we were going to that party that we heard so much about; but a part of me was worried and didn’t want to go. I wanted to see Jay, more than anything. But a part of me worried, since Tom would also be there, and probably watching us the way a hawk watches it’s pray, following our every move.
Saturday came more quickly than I expected, and I found myself at Jay’s house with Tom by my side. He greeted us, giving me a look that only I could understand. We went inside and he showed us a beautiful woman under the plum tree, said that she was a movie star; she looked lovely.
We went to our table, and Jay asked me to dance. We got up to the dance floor, and danced for a few minutes; which seemed to pass by so quickly. We locked gazes and never looked at anyone or anything around us. It was just Jay and I. And there we drifted to our own world again. When our dance ended, we went to Nick’s place to speak. Nick was our watchman in case there was a fire, a flood, or any act of God.
Nick’s place was the only place that we could be alone. He kissed me passionately, and I kissed him back, with the same passion. ‘’Tell Tom,’’ he said ‘’Tell him that you don’t love him anymore.’’ He kissed me again. He then pulled away, and waited for my answer. ‘’You don’t love him anymore, right?’’ he said, with doubt in his voice. ‘’I never loved him.’’ I answered. ‘’So tell him, and you can be free. Then we will go back to Louisville and get married – just as if it were five years ago.’’ He spoke with such joy and happiness.
I realized there; he changed when I was around. He started glowing whenever he caught a glimpse of me, and I wasn’t the only one who could see this. I knew Nick could realize it too. I changed him, made him glow, just like he made me glow. Whenever I even heard his name, it would make me smile, my heart would start beating faster. I knew this was love. ‘’I need more time. I have a daughter, a family. Tom hasn’t been a good husband, but he is a good father; and I can’t do this to my daughter. When you have a family, you have to think of it before yourself. They come before me and my needs.’’ I spoke with certainty in my voice that even I didn’t believe. He smiled to my surprise. ‘’I waited for you for five years, and I finally found you. I’m not going to let go this time. I think I can wait a little longer.’’ He spoke with a smile across his face. We just stood there a little longer, looking into each other’s eyes.
Honestly, I didn’t like the party. West Egg appalled me. I just saw something awful when I looked around, it didn’t amaze me. I pretended to like it, so Jay would be happy. But I was disgusted when that drunk girl came to me and asked me to put her under a cold shower.
We went back to the table, and Jay left to talk to some of his guests. Tom came back not so later than us. He was obsessed with what Jay did for a living. I didn’t mind Tom and his unnecessary questions that much now, it bothered me less as the days passed by.
We left the party early, and went back home. The best part of the party was the minutes I spent with Jay, other than that I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I lay awake on the bed, thinking about Jay and his offer. I was going to tell Tom, I couldn’t keep on lying to him like this. I wasn’t being fair to him, or to myself. I deserved to be happy, and Jay was the one person that could make me happy. Just as I was thinking about these things, I remembered the first time he kissed me.
It was an autumn night, five years ago. Moon was lighting the dark night. Leaves were falling around us. We came to a place where there were no trees, and we stopped, facing each other. It was a cool night, and the lights of the houses went out around us, vanishing into the night one by one. Our hearts beat faster as we came closer. Then he kissed me. A kiss so full of love but hesitant, so light but powerful at the same time. I fell asleep as a smile appeared across my face.
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