Being Daisy: Chapter 5

I finally received a call from Nick today. I was so happy to hear his voice. He invited me to tea at his own house, and of course I gladly accepted the offer. But he said that I shouldn’t bring Tom, and didn’t answer me when I asked him why. It was particularly strange of him; I didn’t expect him to say something like this.

Finally the day arrived that I would see my cousin. I was ecstatic with joy. I arrived at his place no later than four, and he greeted me at the driveway. We told the driver to drive away and keep himself busy for an hour, and then went inside. It felt so good to be with Nick again, I was nearly jumping up and down with joy. When we went inside, he seemed kind of surprised though, like something that was supposed to be there wasn’t there anymore. His eyes searched around the deserted room.

Just then we heard a small knock on the door. Nick went to answer it. A man as pale as death walked inside. My heart nearly stopped beating, then it started beating again like it would rip out of my chest. I locked eyes with the pale man. He didn’t have to say anything, I knew it was him from the moment he walked in; I could feel it in every bone of my body. After so many years, Jay Gatsby stood right before me.

He didn’t have to say anything, or introduce himself to me. We instantly knew who each other were. I laughed. ‘’I certainly am awfully glad to see you again’’ I said. We stopped talking and just looked at each other. There was so much to talk, so much to say, but no words.

When Nick came into the living room we were sitting down. I was frightened, like a ghost from my past just reappeared, but I was glad. ‘’We’ve met before’’ Jay tried to explain to Nick, but he needed no explanation. I could tell that he was embarrassed and nervous, how could he not be after five years? I was embarrassed too, and nervous of course, but I tried not to show it.

Nick and I started chatting then, and Jay hid himself in a shadow and watched us. His eyes flickered from one of us to the other as we took turns speaking, and he looked at us with tense, unhappy eyes. Nick suddenly got up to leave the room. I was actually glad that he decided to leave us alone. Just at that moment, Jay went with him to speak to him, and I was once again alone.

I wondered what they were speaking, what Jay was telling him. Did he now want to be alone with me? I could understand if he didn’t, after all it would be a bit awkward after all the things that we have been through. Suddenly, I felt the urge to leave. A voice inside me was telling me that this was a bad idea. But I chose to shut that voice up. I wanted to stay, even if it was dangerous, even if it meant that I still had feelings for Jay, that I was still in love with him. And maybe, I was.

Just as I was starting to get restless, Jay came back in and sat down next to me. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest. I was still in love with him. We looked at each other, for a few minutes. ‘’Has it really been five years?’’ I asked. Five years now seemed shorter. He nodded, ‘’You changed a lot,’’ he said ‘’it was hard to find you.’’

I couldn’t hold myself anymore; tears came running down my eyes as he told me how he looked for me, how he came to Chicago and how read a Chicago newspaper, hoping to catch a glimpse of me, and in the end he found out that I was living here so he bought the house right across me. He still had feelings for me, after five years. The fact that I also had feelings for him scared me. I couldn’t control myself now; tears were flooding down my face as we talked about the times we shared together.

Just at that moment, Nick came back in. I suddenly jumped up and went to the nearest mirror to fix myself. Jay wanted me to see his house, so we all stood up to go there. I excused myself and went to the bathroom first, to fix myself and gain my self-control back. I had to breath and calm myself down. Being with Jay again brought me gladness and pain at the same time; it hurt being with him, being happy with him. I took one last breath and went outside where Nick and Jay were waiting for me.

His house was breathtaking, and absolutely splendid. We looked at every little thing around the house. I could see that Jay was nervous, and that he was feeling what I am feeling. I looked at him when he was giving a tour of his house, and he never looked away when he was speaking. An unexplained joy filled his eyes as he talked, the man from five years ago was back, and this scared me.

Just as we were looking at his shirts, I couldn’t hold myself. A ghost from my past just reappeared, and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and got scared, and broke down. I started crying intensely, sobs shook me as they left my body. I tried to gain control of myself again, and after a great deal of time I managed.

Jay picked me off the ground and helped me stand up. We decided to go look at the grounds and have a walk in the garden, but then when I stopped, the rain started again. We just stood in front of the window, gazing at the mist that surrounded us. ‘’If it wasn’t for the mist we could see your home across the bay’’ he said. I put my arm through his.

We then started looking around the room; he never told me that he had a pompadour, or a yacht. He then pulled me and showed me the clippings he collected. They were all about me. Tears came back into my eyes, but these were tears of joy and astonishment. I couldn’t believe that he went everywhere, all around the world to find me. Just then the phone rang, and he had to go. I went to the window again, looking at the beautiful pink clouds above the sea.

Jay then decided that we needed some music and called Mr. Klipspringer into the room. A man young man with glasses and blond hair came into the room, wearing a ‘sport shirt’, sneakers and duck trousers. We went down stairs to hear the piano. Jay lit my cigarette and we sat down on a couch far off in the corner, where the lights didn’t reach.

My eyes were glowing now, not with the tears but with joy, just as his eyes were glowing the same way. I still couldn’t believe that I was here five years later, with Jay Gatsby; the only man I truly loved, and still love to this day. We had forgotten that Nick was there, and we drifted in our own world, leaving him behind.

He took hold of my hand and I whispered ‘’I love you’’ in his ear. A rush of emotion took him and he turned towards me, pulling me against him. We locked eyes again. Nick stood up to leave, and I remembered that he was still there. I held my hand out to him, but Jay still didn’t remember Nick and kept his eyes on mine. I pulled myself back a little and we both looked at Nick, so full of life, as he looked back at us. He turned and went down the marble steps, leaving us alone in that room.